On being called a liar

What annoys me …

… is being called a liar.

Three examples.

Number One

We’d just moved into our new house in the UK. By new, I mean the next one, it was actually 1930s.

The next day, seriously, the very next day, a couple knocked on the door. Were they offering tea and biscuits or ‘welcome to the street’?

No. In fact, their house backed onto ours, so they weren’t in our (rather better) street.

They wanted us to chop our trees down that overhung their garden.

Gee! Yes! Of course! We haven’t even fucking unpacked but we’ll get the chainsaw out right now just to suit you.

No wonder the previous occupants of our house wanted to move.

But, being overly nice as usual, Partner did as requested later that week.

A week or so later, Knock Knock.

I answered the door.

It was the Carping Couple again.

‘We came and asked you to cut your trees and you haven’t done it yet.’

So which huge branches (that we would have liked back actually for firewood) did you miss in your back garden? Huh?

I had previously remonstrated with Partner for getting wound up about their initial request. But …

‘He has cut them.’

Carpies started arguing.

‘Don’t call me a liar. Fuck off.’

Door slammed in faces.

I then understood why Partner had been annoyed with them.

Number Two

We had been in Gibflat a few months.

A knock on the door. Yes, another Knock Knock.

‘Can you stop your dog peeing on the staircase?’


If, he had, and he hadn’t, we would obviously have cleaned it up with bleach.

What was annoying here was a) the assumption, based on no information, knowledge, or actual witnessing, and b) thinking we would have not cleaned up had it happened.

These accusations went on for a while. He threatened to report us to the leaseholder. For something he couldn’t prove.

Partner suggested he check out if there were other animals in the block. He did. There were. To be honest, it was unlikely to have been animal pee as our dog showed no interest in it. It could just have been water.

But what absolutely arsehole behaviour.

He eventually conceded it wasn’t our dog. Not before his wife, and I, managed to tone down what was getting into a very heated conversation.

Thank you so much, prick of the first order.

Number Three

This weekend. And yes, another dog story.

A block in our street has been refurbed. Mostly offices, but a couple of flats. A couple drove onto the kerb.

‘Can you stop your dog peeing on my step?’ demanded Mr Imperious.

Said dog pee was a waterfall. Snowy is a small dog. He does not pee waterfalls.

Why do people who know stuff all about dogs make such crass assumptions?

Why do people have nothing better to do in life?

‘I have more respect for my neighbours than to allow that,’ said Partner loftily.

‘You’re not my neighbour,’ said arrogant shithead.

‘Yes I am,’ and Partner walked slowly over the road and into our block.

Because, unlike Ms Two degrees, journalist, editor, health service assistant director, my partner is working class with a skilled craft trade. And he looks it. Stuck-up bastards don’t expect him to be able to live where they do.

So not only did he make an erroneous assumption, and accuse Partner of being a liar, he added in a typically classist insult too.

And they should clean their step more often. That solves the problem.

But, to return to the point. We both hate being called a liar. I heard the raised voices in the street. I knew there was a problem. It took Partner hours to calm down. I understand. Because I hate it too.

It should be simple. Innocent until proved guilty. Don’t jump to conclusions or assume. If you get it wrong, apologise. None of the three above did.

Just don’t go there in the first place. Life is too short.

About roughseasinthemed

I write about my life as an English person living in Spain and Gibraltar, on Roughseas, subjects range from politics and current developments in Gib to book reviews, cooking and getting on with life. My views and thoughts on a variety of topics - depending on my mood of the day - can be found over on Clouds. A few pix are over on Everypic - although it is not a photoblog. And of course my dog had his own blog, but most of you knew that anyway. Pippadogblog etc
This entry was posted in communal living - flat life, dogs, life, musings, thoughts and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to On being called a liar

  1. Something tells me they just don’t like animals. People are especially ornery about dogs for some reason. Sounds like they need to get a life.


  2. davidprosser says:

    I’ve noticed these days how few people apologise if they’re proved to be in the wrong. It’s usually some idiotic comment like “Well it looked like it was you” or some such excuse for bad bahaviour. Are children not taught this simple act at school or at home now? Are their parents all arrogant illegitimates now? I will accede that simple misunderstandings may occur but most can surely be sorted quickly and easily without provoking WWIII. Do people just hate to back down? I swear it wasn’t always like this. Does anyone want to call me a liar?
    xxx Massive Hugs Kate and the Welshman xxx


    • While I might not like doing it, I will apologise for offending people or whatever. Internet spats are the obvious ones. But these crazy assumptions that people make? Without evidence? Guilty until proven innocent? There is just no need.


  3. Hariod Brawn says:

    Why do you care?


  4. Ruth says:

    You know, I just don’t get that either. Neither of these people actually saw your dog do anything. Why just assume it was your dog? Or are they accosting anyone in the neighborhood with a dog the same way? They’ll be popular, I’m sure.

    And it pisses me right off to be called a liar, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Far too much jumping to conclusions these days…and if they are obnoxious enough people do anything to get them to go away. Really bad habit and behavior pattern. And I thought we were all working on not being bullies.
    (And being a tired dunderhead,I let a comment on the last post about name calling which I really meant to put here, but jumped there and obviously got confused. So with that in mind, I’ll just say I try to use a whole different noun to avoid problems like: law enforcement officer, or cop, or health care provider, or “who’s the chair for this group” because when in a rush or tired you tend to let your mind jump to the noun you were taught as a young child. )

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Has anyone there heard of the word patience, forethought, and (here’s the REAL alien concept it seems) common courtesy given and received!? 😮

    “Innocent until proven guilty” may have gone extinct back in the Victorian era? *rolls eyes*


  7. makagutu says:

    Kate, show them the middle finger next time.
    It is annoying to say the least

    Liked by 1 person

  8. cobbies69 says:

    Very sad people with sad lives…. and so agree.


  9. It turns out that one of your chief annoyances happens to be mine as well. I hate lies. I recognize three types of lies. First, so-called ‘White Lies,” while they are a deliberate misrepresentation of the truth are something I do from time to time. A fault. I know I should tell the person holding up a horrible shirt that it looks terrible on them but I just can’t. Call it a weakness, one I’m working on. These days I try and suggest to the asker that they not ask manipulative questions of me 🙂 At any rate, in an effort not to be too much of a hypocrite I won’t say anything about them.
    Next we have the misrepresentations that put the liar’s needs ahead of everyone else’s. Those are to be avoided, of course and anyone who tells them on a regular basis is not someone one should associate with. Period. Out them whenever you can, too.
    Then there’s number three…and worst of all…the lies that one would commonly call BS. For me, those are the worst of all as they are done with complete disregard and even disrespect for the truth. At least the ones who deliberately deceive know and perhaps respect the truth it’s just that they put their selfish interests first). Those who engage in BS, however are of no use to anyone.
    All that aside, I find myself in complete agreement with those who have already commented: a little more patience and a little less judgement would be so nice.


    • That’s a nice definition of lies actually. I’ve never been good at the white ones. But there again, people don’t really aske me for my opinion, probably for that reason.

      It’s so sad that we feel the need to judge each other. Superiority complex perhaps?


  10. EllaDee says:

    I was nodding and shaking my head reading of your experiences… but cackled quietly & triumphantly at the response to Number one.
    It’s a toss up what I hate most, being lied to (and the multitudinous versions thereof) or being called a liar… even euphemistically… if someone feels the need accuse me, let’s call a spade a spade.
    I hate being rude to people (as it makes me feel awful) but there are times when even walking away (my standard response to situations that don’t warrant my energy) isn’t sufficient, and words need to be said.


    • I am very spade ish too.

      One of the funniest stories was about my journalist friend, who after a bad day, was having a car parking spat. In the end she said, ‘oh just fuck off’. Trouble was she had trained as an actress and spoke impeccable English, even when she said fuck off.

      ‘Ooooh, I knew you’d talk like that. You posh bitches are all the same,’ was the reply. Still makes us laugh today.


  11. disperser says:

    There is little that pisses me off more than someone assuming something about me that is not true. This frequently comes up in religious and political discussions, but occasionally in other venues as well.


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