It doesn’t matter how you look at it, but the Cinderella myth is going strong.
For my purposes I’m doing the easy version, no Jung, Freud, nada. Poor girl meets rich prince, disaster intervenes but then they end up happily ever after.
You can read straight romances or sexual ones. You can watch films and TV. You can listen to the soft words of your parents, ‘Daddy’s little princess’, but the blunt truth is, most little girls do not end up marrying rich men. So why do we perpetuate this myth?
This rest of this post is mildly sexual in content and may put you off your breakfast/lunch/supper, depending on where you are in the world.
Like many others, I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey. This isn’t out of sexual prudishness, but rather that I tend not to read the flavour of the month books. So I haven’t read The Hunger Games whatever they are, I only read Twilight and a Potter book when they appeared in one of my free book bags.
I actually thought Fifty Shades was quite a literary novel for some reason. Probably the title. When I initially heard about it nobody mentioned BDSM.
Eventually, ie a few weeks ago, I ‘looked inside’ on Amazon and it was so riveting (not) that I can’t remember a thing about what I read.
However, I have read other BDSM books. I’m not for a minute going to profess to know anything about the lifestyle so please put aside images of a) Roughseas dressed in a (fake) leather corset and thigh-high boots brandishing a whip, and b) Roughseas naked and chained/tied to the bed submitting to the Dom of her dreams. The only thing I know is that everything should be safe, sane and consensual, which seems a good idea to me. And therefore what consenting adults get up to together is their business alone. Or is it?
However, back to reading the books. Some of the BDSM books are total tat. They are poorly written and either not edited at all or badly edited or someone’s sister or reading group had proofread it. Others are much better. The sexuality comes not from the tedious descriptions of the sexual acts but from the interplay between the main couple in the story. All the ones I have read have been heterosexual, and the books have invariably been written by women. They are basically romance books with some graphic sex added.
And of course, the relationship starts out as purely sexual with Mr Cold and Handsome not being interested in soppy stuff, just having a really good fuck and being totally in charge.
Rather than fifty shades of plot, there only seems to be one. The Dom is always tall, dark and handsome with tight muscles, a wonderful arse, and a huge cock. I lie. Occasionally he is fair-haired.
Clearly none of these Doms took part in the recent survey of penis size which said the average length was 3.5 inches or something. Oh, here you go:
The enduring question now has a scientific answer: 13.12 centimetres (5.16 inches) in length when erect, and 11.66cm (4.6 inches) around, according to an analysis of more than 15,000 penises around the world.
In a flaccid state, it found, the penis of the average man is 9.16cm (3.6 inches) in length and has a girth of 9.31cm (3.7 inches).
Thanks, Guardian. Always good to have this interesting info at ones … fingertips? Let’s hope there aren’t the usual Grauniad errors with those numbers …
But back to the non-plot:
The woman (the sub) either isn’t remotely interested in a D/s relationship and/or she may have a mild interest in it. Handsome Dom is always extremely experienced, incredibly good at sex, and immediately realises our heroine is a natural sub just crying out to be trained. By him.
Skip this next bit if you want to enjoy your boiled egg/lunch/supper.
There is lots of foreplay. It always follows the same pattern, starting with masturbation. And at some point in their foreplay he usually rips off her knickers, gazes at her beautiful arse and says ‘you have a beautiful ass’ (they’re all American, even the odd sexy Brit who appears manages to say ass), and spanks her. Hard.
There is always oral sex. These men love it. Oh and the women are always shaved/waxed. Either fully or almost. No stopping midway through for handsome hero to have a coughing fit on a stray hair. There is no mention of the men being shaved for the other way round though, and the women always swallow. No going ‘yuk, that’s salty’ and spitting it out.
Finally, after twenty orgasms through foreplay for the woman, they have PIV sex when, naturally there are another fifty shades of orgasm. Two very important things to note. 1) the woman is in a permanent state of sexual arousal, and 2) she always has the most fantastic orgasms ever. The man is only interested in her pleasure (???) and he has an impeccable sense of timing.
Sometimes the woman has reached her mid-twenties and is still a virgin. Really? She’s always beautiful, usually with a decent pair of tits, a fit arse, yet she’s gone through school, university, and started her career without one single shag?
If she has had sex it’s not been the mind-blowing sex she gets from her wonderful Mr Best Shag in the World. Either way, she’s def an anal sex virgin. But with the help of our kind and considerate Dom, yes, our no longer an-anal-sex-virgin has yet another wonderful, rather, different, orgasm.
Our submissive heroine is often taken to a club where she gets to see what the experts get up to, although she is only ever tied up, sometimes blindfolded, and always spanked. Nothing heavy.
There we have it really, a quick summary of all the BDSM books that are around at the mo. Invariably part of a series.
Nearly forgot. One other really important sexual attraction. The men are not just millionaires, they are billionaires. Because these days, Cinderellas are going for mega bucks.
And to think Lady Chatterley’s Lover was banned.
However, the serious points about these books are:
- Reinforcement of the myth that pretty women being sexually complicit always end up with the handsome rich prince
- Handsome rich prince has a big cock (not sure whether money or size is more important, nah, money wins out)
- Women don’t really want a career, just a handsome rich prince (complete with BC) so they can settle down happily ever after in large mansion and have 2.4 kids (plus maids, gardeners, cooks, chauffeurs etc)
- Being sweet and innocent always ensures the woman is rescued by the handsome (rich, BC) prince
- You have to be beautiful, drop absolutely dead gorgeous to even get a look in for the prince
Now, if that isn’t Cinderella revisited what is?
The same tosh is also churned out minus the sex under the so-called genre of ‘romance’.
But while what people do behind closed doors is one issue, I am worried when it strays into everyday life.
And telling women what to eat ie ordering their meals in restaurants, what to wear, what not to wear, is going off the wall. And it is seriously control freakish when it walks out of the bedroom.
Even worse, when it becomes acceptable in the eyes of the Lord. Because some BDSM blogs do mention this. Because the Lord says women should submit to men? Where and when does religion and sex become so blurred?
When you take sex out of the bedroom, these are mind games you shouldn’t be playing. Especially if you involve silly sky fairies. This stops being about sex. It is about power and control. Ah, wait, perhaps that’s what the whole scenario is about …
It doesn’t matter where you go, the story is always the same. Pretty little girl meets rich handsome prince. And does what he tells her. Bad news people. This is not real life. Princes are few and far between. Sensible women think for themselves.
And it really doesn’t matter whether Kenneth Branagh’s production of Cinderella portrays an active or passive heroine with an extremely narrow waist. The end result is the same. She gets her prince.
When will we stop grooming girls and young women to believe in the delusion that they need to be sexually attractive and complicit princesses to achieve their stinking rich prince? And that they should only concentrate on that one unachievable goal in life?
Here’s a suitable song, Esther has a beautiful voice: