Another gem from WordPress.
If you write a long post, you need to tag it as a long post. Not with the obvious word ‘long’ of course.
You now have to tag your post using WPLongform. What is a long post, you might ask?
Ah, therein lies the catch. The author of the post didn’t want to be prescriptive so wouldn’t give a word count for ‘longform’ I had to look up longform of course. It just means long as far as I can see. Stupid word. On a par with awesome. Perhaps it is American.
What was really funny was, that in the actual post, the author told us to tag the articles #WPLongform. In some of the comments a different WP supremo told us to tag them WPLongform, and possibly longform too.
I helpfully (always helpful me as everyone knows) suggested someone edit the original post to reflect the information in the comments because, not everyone reads the comments before they add their two centimos. Last I looked they hadn’t altered it. So half the world will be tagging their posts #WPLongform and half will be tagging them WPLongform.
Yet another one answered my query about word count. Given that most of my posts are between 1000 and 2000 words, what is long to me, ie more than 2000 words isn’t the same as someone who writes Tweet-style blog posts, where more than 150 characters is going to be longform. I saw a Tweet-style blog recently and gazed at it in amazement. What is the point of having a blog and only writing one sentence? or two at most eg ‘I don’t like what Obama said. He is wrong.’
Anyway, I was told that 1000 words was the rough guideline.
I am all for individuality, but for someone to write a post and her colleagues to come back in the comments and contradict her just makes the whole team look like they don’t know their arse from their elbow.
And people will be adding an extra word to reach that magical figure of 1000 😀 I wonder if I should tag every post under 1000 words WPShortform?
I have threatened to give you the worst of the ‘best’ of Freshly Pressed and highlight a few seriously bad blogs. The trouble is there are just too many of them! My original draft post wasn’t just longform, it was totally War and Peace form.
But, here are a few, chosen for no particular reason except they are crap.
Fem and veggie too! (never let it be said I am biased)
I should like this one as it is sort of feminist. I don’t. I struggled to read it. Left hand sidebars are terrible for left to right readers. Which most of us reading English or European languages are.
The intro was crap. The sentiments were great but very badly expressed. Blog theme was Chateau which does not suit that sort of post. I want to like this blog, feminism, vegetarianism is a great start, but it just doesn’t do it for me.
Oh no! I thought the recipe blogs had died the death. As if.
Bloody hell, there is always a recipe blog on there, and I thought they had faded out or gone off, or somewhere.
How to spend three years making lasagna.
Boil lasagna in pan, make sauce/s, er what more?
Why the hell does this long drawn-out boring shite get freshly pressed?
And a totally non-post.
Meat with a side of …
What was the point of this post?
Boring as hell. Seriously. Something about we need to balance veg and meat. Really? How amazingly clever and unoriginal. Dire. Shit theme. Crap text layout too. I mean just, totally poor. Definitely gets five stars for appallingness from me.
Just at least personalise your header photo. And shorten your paragraphs (yes I know I always say that).
Oh, no. A drinks post too about whisky. I know something about single malt whisky, mainly on the grounds that whenever we visited somewhere in Scotland, I drank the local single malt to decide whether or not I liked it.
Verdict on this one: pretentious in the extreme, uses someone else’s views of single malts (why not ask me for mine, at least I have tasted the fucking things), too long paragraphs (again!) and spelling errors. Original photos? No. Links to other sites.
My fave five are, for your information (as if you are interested in mine or the other blogger’s choice),
Yes I know they are all island ones. OK I’ll add a couple of mainland ones:
• Oban (still on the west coast though)
• Dalwhinney (there, that’s a bit more off the beaten track)
Here is an odd one about Iraq. I’m not sure what the point was to be honest, but it was mildly interesting, which is more than can be said for most.
And over at another FP blog, which I actually found because it was FP’ed, the author produces a weekly round-up of vegan news whch lazy roughseas enjoys reading as it saves her work. I learned that Bill Gates has discovered something I have been saying for years. But it must be meaningful and true if Bill Gates says it. It’s not what you know, it’s who you are that counts.
There are three reasons for being vegetarian, four probably.
2. Ethics ie aversion to animal cruelty or eating them
They are the idealistic reasons, the fourth would be you don’t like the taste of meat, fish, fowl.
Bill Gates has hit on the third one, as he clearly has no understanding of the other two issues because he carps on about the wonderful meat/egg/whatever substitutes. Now, while I might have been vegetarian for more than 20 years, I have never met anything that was remotely like a plate of smoked salmon or roast beef – to use two random examples.
And I would be extremely racked off if I did eat meat to read such drivel from Gates. He’s totally right with his statement about how much food it takes to raise animals for slaughter to end up on someone’s plate, but he has no concept of a vegetarian diet if he thinks everyone will just switch merrily to meat substitutes.
Bill Gates, the co-founder of Microsoft and a vegetarian, penned an article for Mashable on the future of food. In “Food is Ripe for Innovation” Gates writes: “The global population is on track to reach 9 billion by 2050. What are all those people going to eat? . . . Meat consumption is expected to double by 2050 — it seems clear that arable land for raising livestock won’t be able to keep up.”
The answer is plant protein, says Gates.
There’s plenty of protein and necessary amino acids in plants, including the world’s four major commodity crops — rice, maize, wheat and soy.
The problem is that instead of feeding these crops to people, we’re feeding most of them to livestock. And so we’re caught in an inefficient protein-delivery system. For every 10 kilograms of grain we feed cattle, we get 1 kilogram of beef in return. The calorie kick-back is just too low to feed a growing world population.
I have to end with these.
I assume it is meant to be witty.To be pedantic I also studied calculus. It didn’t look a bit like that.
It seems the goalposts have changed drastically for becoming Freshly Pressed. It is no longer glossy photos that would grace a food magazine with an accompanying simplistic recipe, or bungee jumping in New Zealand.
Now you apparently need to be as boring and long-winded as possible, or just write the most inane rubbish you can think of.
Don’t know where I got this one from. [ETA, yes I do, it’s a later post from the boring lasagna blog with even more unoriginal recipes that I knew everyone would so wish to read]
Lamb with rosemary and garlic. Yes. Been there done that. Yet despite this unoriginal contribution to the world this post doesn’t appear to have been FP’ed. Why ever not? Hits all the buttons. Unoriginal and not glossy piccis plus boring text. Pretentious too.
And on lambs, I read a blog recently bemoaning the bad winter in the UK and how difficult it is for the farmers and the poor starving little lambs and calves. There were a lot of comments about how cereal farmers get subsidies and animal farmers don’t. They even have to buy in expensive food. They would, wouldn’t they, now that they can’t feed vegetarian animals on sheep’s brains?
Those subsidies may possibly be because cereal farming is more sustainable than animal farming, qv Bill Gates above.
I didn’t comment on said blog in the end. I would only have written some self-opinionated comment so I might as well do it on my own blog.
There are two sides of the coin. Or even more. Most people haven’t been on my side (of the coin), I’ve been on both. If you want to eat dead animals that is your choice. I’ve done it, and enjoyed it at the time.
I did struggle when I realised that one of my favourites – ox tongue – was actually the tongue of an animal. I thought it was just a name!
I liked sweetbreads too. What a quaint term. Why not call them bollocks? Because you are basically eating lambs’ testicles, or so I was told as a child. Where did this myth come from? They are thymus glands/pancreas or other offaly bits of animals. So not bollocks at all. Not sure which is worse really. Reading around, I found a reference that people were mental to think sweetbreads were testicles. No, I just believed what my parents told me. Some people believe in Santa Claus and Jesus. Does that make them mental?
I don’t like the hypocrisy that surrounds eating meat, a rabbit is ok if it is bought, but you don’t kill a pet rabbit? Huh? Or we eat cows and lambs and pigs, but not horses or donkeys, dogs or cats? Or it’s cool to eat rattlesnake and shark? Maybe elephant and tiger for all I know.
So I find the ‘oh it’s a hard winter and the baby animals are struggling to survive,’ concept totally surreal. Let’s be honest, these animals are going to be killed at some point, normally sooner than later. Why waste compassion on them? They are bred to be killed. To end up on a plate. With mint sauce. Simple.
Meat-rearing farmers are no different to anyone else who is struggling in the current climate, whether economically or weather-wise. We all have competition of whatever sort, and fail to make the money we want.
The idyllic pastoral scene is just garbage. Many farmers have fed their animals on the cheapest shit available, eg sheeps brains resulting in BSE and CJD. That’s before they’ve even fed them with steroids. Or packed them in tight crates. Great animal welfare there.
Try this link about cows (it has a happy ending so the squeamish amongst you don’t need to worry – well if you consider a 60% survival rate ok).
How about sheep?
Sheep are sheared in the spring, just before they would naturally shed their winter coats. Because shearing too late would mean a loss of wool, most sheep are sheared while it is still too cold. An estimated one million sheep die every year of exposure after premature shearing.
I’m sure none of that goes on in the UK though. Just Texas and Australia. Y’all enjoy your cruelty-free lamb chops.