Tea-time laughy

I occasionally check junk mail. Big mistake. Although, I did laugh. I won’t even bother with the critique. Well, just one, why are marital status and sex essential info?!

Dear Sir/Madam,

I pray this mail finds you in a state of your sound health and indomitable spirit. Please, I would like to confide in you for a business proposal for you. I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business.

This is a personal email directed to you for your personal consideration alone, I request that it remain and be treated as such only. Though this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you through it, because it still remains the fastest medium of communication. However, this correspondence is private, and it should be treated in strict confidence. I know it will take you by surprise to receive this information because emails like this flies over the internet telling people about funds and other things. I always receive similar offers from the internet which I normally delete because I believe they are all hoax email from scam artistes.

My name is Capt .Barry Davies, of the Engineering Unit of U.S Military here in Kabul, Afghanistan. I have good amount of Money which I want to move out of this Country. Although this may be hard for you to believe, but, we stand to share $21.3 million USD between us in a matter of days. Please grant me the benefit of doubt and hear me out. I want to inform you that I have in my possession right now the sum of $21.3 million USD and the United States Military will soon pull out completely from Afghanistan in this 2015, therefore, I have to act very fast before time runs out.

President Obama’s remarks during his recent visit to Afghanistan were focused on letting us know that our mission in Afghanistan is ending, and it is time to come home. He said that by the end of this year, America’s role in combat will be over, and the war in Afghanistan will come to a responsible end.

We acquired these funds during one of our normal Military raid in one of the Taliban’s hide out here and we decided to share the money among ourselves as our reward for all the sufferings we are going through in this evil land. It is better to use this money to better ourselves, help our respective families and also help the poor and less privileged in our societies than to leave it for these terrorist /Taliban’s to use it to acquire more weapons to continue their atrocities / killing of innocent people.

At least it is better to use these funds to safe poor women and children who are dying of Hunger on daily basis, than to allow these Taliban’s to use this money to sponsor their terrorist activities. Honestly, I cannot sleep anymore, I am so worried to achieve the finalization of this transaction for these individuals, as my part of the transaction will also be dedicated to them. I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there because Deeds, not words shall speak me. So I think our meeting is not accidental, but for a good purpose to fulfill the will of God in our lives.

To escape military awareness, I decided and deposited the money in United Nations’ Military Base Vault pending when I get a reliable Partner who will receive this Fund on my behalf. While depositing the money I declared the real content of the TRUNK BOX (Consignment) as Family Valuable Treasures. Everything is legal. I have made a concrete arrangement to move the funds out of Afghanistan as a Family Treasures to your door step in your country. The most important Question is, Can I Trust you? I will offer you 35% for your assistance, then you have to find a safe place to keep my 65% share for me before my arrival to your country, I have a good diplomatic means to send it to you safely.

If you are interested, I will furnish you with more details upon receipt of your response and contact details. I need a straight answer; YES OR NO. If yes, then let’s work, and let me have your contact details, because there is no time to waste. I must complete this before we (US ARMY) complete pull out process from Afghanistan in this 2015.Already we have started pulling out slowly.

Get back to me with your full information:

1) FULL NAME………………………

2) Address……………………………

3) AGE…………………………………

4) MARITAL STATUS………………

5) SEX………………………………….

6) PHONE NUMBER……………….

7) OCCUPATIONS…………………..

I have confidence that you will give your consideration to this proposal and respond positively within a short period of time. I am available to discuss this proposal with you and to answer any questions you may have in regard to this deal. I will never let you down.

Once again with humble regards to you and best wishes to all your family members along with abundant blessings from the Almighty Lord and His only son Jesus Christ coming upon each member of your family, I remain with these few words and desperately waiting for your response on this email: captbarry.davies@aim.com

Yours Sincerely,

Capt. Barry Davies.

and

Dear
My name is Oskar Loewe from Berlin Germany.
I’m currently hospitalized in a private hospital here in Berlin as a result
of brain cancer. My purpose of writing you is because I was led by the spirit of God to offer you the money that I have in my private account in Abroad now that is lear that I’m approaching the last days of my life.
I’m 82 year old and may not even need the money again for any thing. I’m
offering you the sum of $2.5 million us dollars as a donation for the work
of God and charity.When I hear from you, I will direct you on how to
receive the money. Please pray that God will accept my soul even if I die
today.

Oskar

Sounds like God looks after atheists after all 🙂

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About roughseasinthemed

I write about my life as an English person living in Spain and Gibraltar, on Roughseas, subjects range from politics and current developments in Gib to book reviews, cooking and getting on with life. My views and thoughts on a variety of topics - depending on my mood of the day - can be found over on Clouds. A few pix are over on Everypic - although it is not a photoblog. And of course my dog had his own blog, but most of you knew that anyway. Pippadogblog etc
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43 Responses to Tea-time laughy

  1. john zande says:

    Sounds legit. I hope you replied.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thought it would be hypocritical really, me not believing in their god and all that. Plus, I just did exactly what Capt Davies asked me not to. Blasted it all over the Internet. Unscrupulous bastard that he is for stealing 21 mill bucks. Nasty man.

      Shame about the brain cancer one. I’m sure he can find someone more godly than me for his funds though.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Ruth says:

    Of course, you’ve given this your full consideration. Who wouldn’t? Everything is legal.

    I think he might need your sex and marital status because he needs to know if there’s a third party with whom he might have to split the funds. Or maybe he needs to know if there’s anyone he might have to knock off?

    Like

    • LOL Ruth. I never thought about the third party, merely the sex, although when I add my age that might dampen his ardour somewhat. Oh. Knock off. Hmm. Maybe we use that term differently in Britspeak. Is this *Ask The Brit* time, or do you use knock off as a sexual term over there?

      It maybe legal, but it’s godly so it isn’t moral 🙂

      Like

  3. Sonel says:

    If this was true, we’d be millionaires by now, don’t you think? And yes, why is the marital status and sex info essential?

    The first one sounds like the good old money laundering scam and second one is also a scam and I think in that one they ask you to advance a certain fee, according to Hoax slayer. Lots of people do get caught by scams like this.

    http://www.hoax-slayer.com/money-tranfer-job-scams.shtml
    http://www.hoax-slayer.com/nigerian-scams.html

    Well, if there was a God he would probably think of the ‘free will’ he gave to mankind … and laugh .. and laugh.

    Like

    • These were actually in A’s business email box, I was just doing a random check for all junk to see if anything sensible had been filtered. We get very few. I thought it as a change from the Nigerian ones, but in all seriousness why would anyone consider trusting
      a captain who is rapacious enough to steal 21 mill US?

      I can’t believe anyone falls for such (badly written) garbage.

      Any god is the one of John Z’s creation the omnimal whatever he calls it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sonel says:

        When I clean out my spam box once a month, I do get some like these as well. Well, if they didn’t make it so obvious, I might just fall for it, but there are not honor between thieves.

        Believe me, there are people that do fall for these types of scams. It’s unbelievable, but yes, they are there. It’s sad.

        No idea. Let’s call it ‘Whatever’ then. LOL!

        Like

        • Seriously, I think these are the first two we’ve had!

          Do people not realise there are no free lunches?

          He’s just a bad creator, that’s all, I haven’t finished John’s book yet. But I like the overall premise of a nasty evil creator laughing at the idiots stumbling around on earth. Seems pretty accurate 😀

          Liked by 1 person

          • Sonel says:

            Nope, there are a lot of them like these floating around here in SA. We get mobile scams as well. Messages coming through from RICA (The Regulation of Interception of Communications and Provision of Communication-Related Information Act) telling you you just won R128 000. Sometimes the amounts differ and they leave a cell phone no. you can call and if you do call the number they tell you you must pay admin fees for the transfer. Sly buggers them!

            I think most people may be desperate and want to believe.

            Glad you like it too. LOL!

            Like

          • Must be my trusty Halipad deterring all evil scam artists ( so I can spend more money on new Hals )

            Desperate people believe in all sorts of lunacy.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Sonel says:

            hahahah! Must be!

            Yep, they do. Hubby calls them ‘Verimark believers’. LOL!

            Like

          • Verimark? Is that Afrikaans?!

            Like

          • Sonel says:

            Nope. It’s a place that sell products that doesn’t last long. My stepfather used to buy stuff for my mom there, and we learned our lesson from that. LOL!

            https://www.verimark.co.za/

            Like

          • Cheap and tat? I try to avoid buying anything 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          • Sonel says:

            Yeah, same here but I sure as hell don’t like to buy stuff that breaks after you’ve been using it for a short while. Then I’d rather save money and buy the proper stuff. All my electric ware in the kitchen I do prefer to be the Philips brand. They definitely last.

            Like

          • Trouble is, so many products seem to have built-in obsolescence so you have to go and buy new 😦

            Liked by 1 person

          • Sonel says:

            Yep, and that’s what Verimark and most of them are like.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. Hariod Brawn says:

    “Why are marital status and sex essential?”

    I quite agree, but then for 35% of the spoils ($7,455,000) I think you should consider dropping ’em.

    Like

  5. Those are priceless.

    Like

  6. EllaDee says:

    Isn’t the appropriate response to a form question of sex unless M/F is specified Yes Please 😉

    Like

  7. I’ve received many of these type emails, mostly from Nigeria, Thailand, or any number of 3rd-world-becoming-2nd-world nations. They are money-scams, theives… if they can get enough of your personal details. Beware! 😉

    Like

  8. makagutu says:

    I receive such mail almost on a daily basis.
    And the goddites who send them to me make me wonder whether their god is asleep. It should be easy for them to just google my name and know I will not buy their cheap lies.
    I once met such a scammer in person. It was hilarious.

    Like

  9. davidprosser says:

    Far be it from me to suggest that maybe god has decided to resort to bribery in your case.to gain you as a convert, but please think seriously about accepting these offers nonetheless as you may decide upon conversion to spread the wealth a little among us heathens in a little bribery of your own. I’m sure you know 20 of us to go sharesies with from the Afghanistan bounty?
    xxx Hugs Kate xxx

    Like

    • The question is how many of my 20 friends would do a share out if they reaped the millions? Besides I don’t do bribery. How would I know if you had converted? I think my much dreamed of animal sanctuary would be the true beneficiary.

      Like

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