How to fall out

What better to do with a million things on the ‘to do’ list than write a blog post to avoid doing what I should be doing?

Writing about comments over on Kev’s stuff, I was minded to think about issues that have provoked fall-outs with internet friends.

So here are the top three.

1) Pedigree dogs

People who buy pedigree dogs do not like to be told that buying a pedigree dog means that one more rescue dog will either remain unhomed or killed.

They salve their conscience by saying:

I do my bit for rescue shelters, I volunteer, give them money, and am generally a nice person. I can’t possibly take on a rescue dog, because they have ‘issues’ and I’m not experienced enough to cope with that.

Meaning:

I can’t be bothered/I want a fancy dog with a breed name and all the rest of the trappings.

I can understand why people don’t like to hear that message, which suggests they are slightly snooty, snobbish and elitist, but I am still waiting for the answer that tells me how buying a pedigree dog from a breeder helps abandoned dogs on the streets or in rescue shelters. (Similarly insert cats here). Especially when you can get pure breeds as rescues anyway (oh, but they come with issues don’t they? Unlike people).

I have news for you. A dog is a dog, people. A cat is a cat. You want it to look pretty and have papers too? Do you have them? (Pink, shut up we know you are pretty and have a good pedigree).

One of the local pounds up the coast at Estepona is full of Podencos and GSDs (both breeds that I’ve been lucky enough to have been adopted by).

A workmate of Partner’s casually told him he’d like to take little Snowy (pix on Pippa’s or roughseas for anyone who hasn’t seen him).

‘Largate!’ said Partner. ‘If you think my woman spent three months in Spain, house-training him and bringing him up, just to give him away, you can think again. And clear off to Estepona if you want a Podenco.’

There are probably loads in the La Linea pound. In fact in every Spanish pound at a guess. Mildly better than being hung from trees which is their usual fate.

I’ve fallen out with two people who come to mind, about pedigrees, one of them was a very good friend.

I’d fall out with my university friend about it, but I really can’t even be bothered to go there with her.

2) Politics ~ Or more specifically, American politics

Which needless to state, encompasses religion, abortion, and invading everywhere under the sun for more oil. Ooops, I made a mistake there, it’s not about oil at all is it? It’s about getting rid of non-existent WoMD and removing oppressive dictators and liberating people to live that good old American life in the Middle East or Asia or wherever else.

These were FaceBook spats. FB asked you for your favourite TV prog, music, books, lipstick colour, day of the week and all the rest of it. I wrote up, no tv, don’t read books, don’t listen to music. To anyone with even a tiny brain it’s fairly obvious that I do read books and listen to music. I’ll watch films on Hal if that counts as sort-of TV.

So on one American political spat, I was told: ‘I’m not surprised you don’t know anything because you are so ignorant, looking at your profile.’ Sometimes British humour doesn’t go down well in America. She could have checked out my blog before she wrote me off as trailer trash.

The best one was the shutdown thread I started though. I genuinely had no understanding about why the rulers of the world would shut down their government over a dispute about Planned Parenthood. But apparently the land of the brave and the free does this sort of thing. Or threatens to do it. I got some really intelligent, thoughtful and helpful answers back regarding procedure. Because for once, I wasn’t out for scoring political points, I wanted to understand how a government could come to a standstill and how it would affect the poorer people in society (but like, who cares about them?).

The next day, I noticed my followers had decreased. I looked up the missing ones. I was stunned. Not by the numbers but who they were. We’d been dogblog mates for years, emailed and sent Christmas cards to one of the women’s husbands in Iraq or Afghanistan or somewhere.

They were both army women. They may have been religious. I suspect abortion rights for women wasn’t high on their list of priorities. But America invading the world was. And their men really shouldn’t have their paycheques stopped as part of the shutdown. No, that’s true, I don’t disagree. But why have a shutdown in the first place? One had an extremely flash home and more Apples than you could poke a Hal at. The other one didn’t have such a high-flying partner, oops husband, because I’m sure they wouldn’t like those sort of words, so she moaned about her crap accommodation. Hell, they had a roof, an income and could feed themselves.

Some women choose abortion because they don’t have any of those. They have enough problems living, let alone bringing another waif into the world.

I could never work out whether that ditching was based on religion, politics, or militarism, but whatever way, they chucked me.

I was annoyed enough to tell our mutual circle that if they wished to remain friends with the closer one, let’s call her Friend A, I’d be ditching them too.

Big FB saga. You can imagine it. Playground hit big-time.

It was a real ‘You are known/judged by the company you keep,’ situation. I figured if they wanted to hang out with her, fine, I didn’t want any more to do with them. Some friends tried to talk sense into me, telling me I would dislike ultimatums (true) and dislike someone telling me what to think/do (true).

I later learned that Friend A had ditched other people. One of them was dying of lung cancer and was such a generous soul. Who would do that? She didn’t have long to live anyway. Do people have no compassion or are they so self-centred?

If you want to know, I ditched the ‘friends’ and left FaceBook anyway. After I’d made a statement about it all, and oooh, how much back-biting was there? I’ve still got the emails which another person sent me, where everyone said how horrible I was 😀

Enough of FaceBook. When my father was a freemason (yes, I know, cringe), the forbidden topics were sex, politics and religion. These days, I think sex is irrelevant, but is encompassed under the insidious rule of religion – attacks on gay rights, on women’s rights to choose what to do with their own bodies – and when, men, can have children and women can demand the right for them to give birth, possibly they may have a say, otherwise – just leave women alone. Please.

Politics and religion seem to be a blur. The right wing is religious and oppressive. The left is laissez-faire.

3) The last fall-outs are about feminism

That’s not just on my blogs. It’s on feminist forums, because why would opinionated women agree with each other?

But please men, you are not feminists. You are at best, feminist allies. And if you don’t know the theory – ‘but some woman I spoke to says this, so therefore that is right’ – don’t argue.

Just do not even start about language. I have given you all a health warning before and it remains in place.

Despite the belief of the white working-class British male who is unemployed, women are not on the up. And men should stop being jealous of the few who are.

Women are not intellectually inferior to men, they do not need to be told what to do, and tbh, given the amount of male wankers around, we could quite possibly be far better off without most of you. Not all, I say quickly.

You could probably add birth control and abortion into this section of course under feminism. Odd how politics, religion, and feminism are all entwined. Or is it?

There we go, if you want an argument those are the easy pickings. You’ll be getting a pure-bred Podenco at your throat though. Let alone me.

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About roughseasinthemed

I write about my life as an English person living in Spain and Gibraltar, on Roughseas, subjects range from politics and current developments in Gib to book reviews, cooking and getting on with life. My views and thoughts on a variety of topics - depending on my mood of the day - can be found over on Clouds. A few pix are over on Everypic - although it is not a photoblog. And of course my dog had his own blog, but most of you knew that anyway. Pippadogblog etc
This entry was posted in animal rights, animals, blogging, dogs, feminism, gender-specific language, pedigree dogs, rescue dogs, WPlongform. Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to How to fall out

  1. davidprosser says:

    I used to have such joys on Facebook with Religion and Politics in the US.. Asking a simple question like ” If I accept people’s right to follow religion, why can’t they accept mine not to?” got me lots of unfollows and remarks about my person and way of life. Suggesting my new religion based on hugs got me the epithet of ‘stealer of souls’.
    With politics I asked what was so wrong about an NHS for the people in the US and was told ” We’re capitalists and don’t want something for nothing???” Also that the President is the Devil the Antichrist and Christian churches hated him. If that was the case I asked, why did some Christian churches promote him? Oops, unfriended again.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

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    • So I’m not alone. Hell what’s wrong with hugs? How destructive is that? How much does it damage people or infringe on their personal liberties?

      The NHS isn’t something for nothing. That’s why we pay national insurance. We are also compassionate – hopefully – and don’t want people’s lives wrecked because they can’t afford essential health care. I do draw the line at going to the GP for every sniffle and snuffle under the sun but, with the good comes the not-so-good. Plus compulsory health care drives me up the wall, ie you HAVE to go to the GP for a sick note, or you HAVE to get an X-ray, have an op blah blah when nature takes its course anyway. Viz, my sprained ankle last year and seven years ago, my sprained/torn/broken wrist fingers arm etc. Many things heal with time, we over intervene.

      Well I would have backed Clinton but no doubt she is an even worse anti-Christ/devil.

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  2. You’ve certainly provided a good powder keg full of topics. Instead of wading in on any of them I thought I’d reply with a couple of the things that it’s tough to talk rationally about where I come from: (in no particular order)
    The seal hunt.
    The development of the Athabasca Tar/Oil sands (we can’t even agree on the name. Advocates go with oil and contrarians use tar)
    The development of the Keystone XL pipeline project
    Language Laws in Quebec
    “Values Charter” in Quebec
    Hockey (too many issues to list them all. Partial: violence, team support, costs, interference with school …)
    National Leadership
    The province’s relationship with the Fed.
    Canada’s relationship with the US
    Aboriginal (First Nations) issues
    I won’t be offering any opinions as space and time would not allow me to outline the generally conflicted and somewhat inconsistent values I hold. I could summarize, though, and say that for most of them the essay would include “It depends on a variety of factors.”
    As an aside, it’s stormy today. 25 cm of snow since yesterday and another 20 or so on the way. We have had over 400 cm of snow already this winter and no end in sight. We call this time of the year “sprinter.” I’m planning on getting a back transplant as the one I have is worn out from shoveling.

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    • Not really, just the three that people have fallen out with me over. Not vice versa I might add.

      I’ll bite on the seal hunt. The photos I’ve seen of clubbed seals are appalling, and this is from years back. I complained at my mother for buying sealskin boots (hellish warm mind), and in the end she stopped wearing them. When she died I threw a perfectly good pair of 40 odd year old boots in the bin. Westerners do not need to wear sealskin boots. My synthetic ones are perfectly warm.

      I think the provincial relationship and the one with the US are interesting. But you’ll guess the similarities so I’ll say no more on either.

      No first nation issues here. Hell of a lot of racism, ie anti-Spaniard, and in some cases (not a lot) anti-Brit issues, and also anit-Moroccan. Even though we all get along swimmingly together.

      No snow here 😀 Meant to rain tomorrow though which is a pain as I need to put on a wash.

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  3. Noooo! Snowy is taken. Good news is that there are others waiting- desperately waiting…or is that too much trouble? Kinda reminds me of one of my mom’s siblings. When my grandmother died, one sister tossed a bunch of “old” furniture into the trash ( not good enough for them). My dad, who always was more frugal pulled out a marble toped dresser and a table and little stuff. Then he went home and spent long hours refinishing them. Uncle came by and saw the dresser one day and said it was his and he’d take it. Like that was going to happen. Only time I thought there was going to be a fight in the house. Some people want something nice without any effort. Sad.
    Not really big on dog/cat breeders – there are so many animals needing homes. And the mixed breeds are generally sturdier and less prone to breed specific behaviors. Lot of dogs – especially pits being bred here by the wrong people and for the wrong reasons and ending up in the wrong hands – people getting hurt. Not the dog’s fault, but they pay. Another 2 yr old mauled yesterday.
    Had to laugh about friends dumping friends – and FB. Sounds like high school. You’re right, better things to do than even try with such.
    It would be nice if men just shut up and had no say at all about regulations and laws concerning women’s issues. They have no standing – so just shut up and sit down. Even with just women speaking it would be chaos: some cannot put themselves in others’ shoes, some can’t tolerate other people’s opinions, some are cowed and dominated by males who think they understand everything and want to run the universe according to their whims. Lasting progress comes Inch by inch. My mother worked, my aunts worked, my grandmother worked, my great aunts worked. They liberated themselves – but it was easier in the west where life and thought wasn’t so rigid.
    It’s interesting to read about other places – not being there and not having all the, sometimes their political situations aren’t clear, but I pick it up as I go or do some reading – but even then, I’m not living there, so can’t really offer a valid opinion – just observe. It’s not my country. I’m not educated in their processes, laws, and heritage/history. Not about to criticize what I don’t understand.
    I don’t really understand why so many are so full of themselves that they think they’ve got all the answers and demand everyone march to their words. Discouraging trend here and world wide apparently. How boring if all are/think exactly alike. People seem to be isolating themselves into tight little groups. And that’s even sadder. World seem colder.
    But luckily there are plenty of warm dogs waiting to curl up with!

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    • Snows is currently playing with squeaky ball. I don’t like to disturb animals who have already been passed around more than once. They need pack continuity and that’s what mine get.

      That dresser sounds nice. I’d have been up for that 🙂

      There is nothing wrong with mixed breeds, even though three of ours have been pure breeds – but rescues. Labrador, GSD and Podenco. Two out of those three were street dogs.

      I knew some lovely people on FB, but having an adult conversation was not on, so it was back to my blogs to try and find grown-ups who could agree to disagree.

      My grandmothers and great-aunts worked too. And my mother and my aunts. Even I managed it for a few years. They weren’t feminist though, just practical.

      I try not to comment on things I know little about as well. Except I don’t agree with the American health care system because I have read a lot about it and I worked in the UK one, so I’m not entirely ill-informed about health care.

      Dogs could solve all the world’s problems. Ooops, Snows is shredding something again, he sends a bouncy leap to Molly, And then he’ll curl up with us tonight.

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      • Molly is gone to romp with friends in the field for a bit. Not sunny, but not raining…yet. Actually it’s been pretty nice with cool nights and warm days – normally this winter’s weather pattern would mean a more mild summer – certainly hope that is true as Molly is already panting and sweating at during afternoon walks.
        Practical doesn’t get recognized by some activists – rather funny, isn’t it?
        The US healthcare system varies/varied from state to state – I never realized there was such a wide range. Here kids were always able to stay on parents’ insurance if they were taking courses in college/community college/tech schools – designed to encourage kids to stay in school. We found college student insurance offered cheaper/more coverage than parent plans though – those plans are all eliminated now.
        What do I say to the Brit across the street who lives here because it’s cheaper, taxes less, and the wait for (“better” according to him) health care is less? Don’t really like paying for his care: he chooses to drink very heavily, overweight, has frequent car accidents, smokes and does some risky lifestyle stuff…so he’s with docs more. I don’t feel like paying for all his poor life choices. (Agreed, he’s an idiot – but a neighbor so we try to be friendly and avoid controversy) But that’s just me. I have little patience. And now less money to save in order to take care of myself. Silly me – that’s what I feel like these days.
        Old people, kids, military families, and dogs, now that’s different. There has to be a better system…if elected official could be isolated from lobbyist/big Pharm/corporations that own hospitals. And do you jobs people – stop constantly positioning yourself for the next election and power struggle. The old health care system was flawed, this new one is pretty ugly. Now they’ve “discovered” that insurance company plans are intentionally not offering care at major hospitals that treat cancer/specialize in certain health conditions – and not including cancer/other expensive medical condition drugs in order to encourage “sick” people to buy insurance else where. Insurance companies are still managing to not enroll pre-existing conditions in a different fashion. Great. Just great.
        Back to the drawing board, please.
        Oh, well. Trying to stay healthy…
        I’m always interested in what you think – you use actual facts, experience, and authoritative sources. So it’s much more fun.
        Planting garden yet? Not sure if I’ll try this year…Molly pulled up a palm tree last week – she loves lantana to snack on – fortunately that’s OK…we have lots and it grows quickly

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        • Snows needs a good romp too but luckily it is morning nap time. Sigh of relief and a bit of peace.

          Practical gets recognised by people on limited income. Having said that, even when I was earning shedloads, I still made curtains, clothes and grew my own veg. That was choice rather than necessity because I could make better curtains, make unique clothes and grow organic veg to eat straight out of the garden.

          I just don’t agree with health care being based on private insurance, simple as that. Paying for other people’s health care is swings and roundabouts. A bit like paying for an education system when a) I went to a private school (ie my parents paid before I got a scholarship to the senior school) and b) I don’t have any kids. Or you could look at council (govt) housing. I don’t think health care is any different to any other sort of public service, we fund some parts we don’t use. But being brought up with the NHS, it’s a way of life, and one I would not want to see go.

          Sure people smoke and eat badly. But not up to me to tell them they are fat gits ruining their lungs, heart, body etc. I wouldn’t prioritise obesity ops over cancer for example, but who knows how people end up weighing silly amounts of kilos/pounds?

          The big Pharm in the US sounds a problem. I’ve read about it before. The one good thing about your health care system, is that it makes some of you very well-informed about your drugs/treatment whereas Brits just want it all on a plate because it’s free at point of delivery.

          I don’t always use facts 😀 sometimes just opinions, although invariably based on facts or experience.

          I hate lantana. That’s that nasty one that smells like catspee isn’t it? Worked on a garden a few years ago, full of the wretched stuff that I had to cut right back. It was straggling and overgrown and stunk and I took delight in getting rid of as much of possible. They had bougainvillea which I used to love before I had to start cutting that back. But still, hibiscus is nice and pretty and doesn’t stink or have vicious thorns. Snowy snacks on hibiscus.

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          • Well, if it’s Ok for Snowy, then maybe I’ll stop yelling at Molly to leave the hibiscus alone. Those froze back to the ground this winter, but are coming up from roots now…some of the old branches still show green, so maybe they will leave out, too. Lantana is dog hardy, requires little water, and feeds the monarchs – so we have one bush on the side where we can’t smell it. But it does have to be hacked into submission – down to the ground each winter. Fog is lifting and rain coming, so out the door for a bit with Molly

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          • I don’t want him to eat it, but given that you can have hibiscus tea, it’s unlikely to harm him. He went for the ajo tierno last week. A few young garlic crops displaced 😦

            More rain forecast here too. Snows is out with Partner in their evening bonding session 😀 I’ll get to do the last run of the day though.

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  4. Kev says:

    I hear you on the pedigree lark. It’s a snobby thing for the most part. I can’t stand these people who go around with dogs in their handbags, dyed and clothed. And then you’ve got bloody dog shows where they are made to look ridiculous, put on special diets (not for health concerns, I’m sure) The same people claim to be animal rights lovers blah blah blah. For real? Is this what their dog wants?…doubt it. I feel for them, really I do…poor buggers.

    Dogs don’t want that…they want a good home, great food, a ball or a stick to chase in the park or along the beach with a human to take care of the things they can’t and who’s not afraid to get dirty when they play together.

    The government closing down…I couldn’t understand it and I lived there for over nineteen years. The great American nation…are they for real? They do tend to mix religion with politics though.

    True friends don’t fall out. Yeah, they disagree, get mad about things, even stop talking for a short while…but fall out? Idk, Maybe if one did something unspeakable to the other…but that wouldn’t be friendship would it?

    Feminism. You’re absolutely right about men being allies at best. But it is possible for us to grasp and understand most of the issues. For example, men would be furious if they were getting paid less for doing the same job as someone else. Why would women not feel the same way? It isn’t exactly rocket science. That’s just an example. I know it’s not all as simple as that. But, why not get all the support you can for whatever cause it is? What is the harm in that?

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    • My multi-tasking is failing miserably. Started this response ages ago and another one, lost them both. Probably because my mind has been elsewhere ie en la calle.

      I took a rucksack into town when I took Snowy to the vet for jabs in case he flagged (we walked 3 or 4 kms each way). He was pretty young so I wasn’t sure if he’d manage it. I didn’t need the rucksac 😀 The vet was stunned when I told him we’d walked it and were walking back. Not stunned enough to offer us a lift back though.
      Anyway, does that count as carrying a dog in a handbag?

      I’d get him a coat too as he only has one layer of short fur, unlike Pippa who has a double coat. But I haven’t found any I like. Pippa has raincoats, it really chucks it down here and he’s old and arthritic and it takes a long time for him to dry off, so he gets to dress up.

      Two of my British dogs had vegetarian diets in the UK. Their favourite was an organic one which obv smelled delicious as they would leap around the kitchen for it. Bit more difficult to find here though. That’s not just about me being vegetarian, a lot of the animal-based pet foods have all the ground-up detritus chucked in them. I tend to buy a chicken-based on as it seems to suit them better than the meat ones, and try and go for something with a high cereal/veg content. I discovered the other day that Snowy likes samosas when I foolishly turned my back before putting it into the oven.

      I just don’t understand America. Simple as that. I don’t understand the circus for the presidential elections and I dread to think how much that costs, I don’t understand the obsession with guns, I don’t see why private health care insurance is a ‘good thing’, I don’t understand the consumerism, and I certainly don’t understand the evangelical religious fanatics or the intolerance towards homosexuals, poor people and women who chose to have an abortion (as if anyone wants one in the first place, it’s chosen out off necessity). It is not god’s will that women have unwanted/unplanned children.

      Friendship really varies though doesn’t it? You mentioned the one you are still in touch with from America. Sometimes you keep in touch and sometimes you don’t. Distance and time have their effect. ‘Meeting’ people and establishing a relationship over the internet is a whole different game, and actually meeting a few of those people is something else again. Like real life, some friendships last longer than others, depending on what, if anything, we have in common.

      I thought it was pretty tactless of my rich pal to send me a photo of a pedigree cocker spaniel pointing out it was a working dog, given that I am vegetarian, anti-hunting, and an advocate for homing rescue animals. But it’s not worth falling out over after 35 years. Sometimes it’s nice to hang on to friends from so long ago.

      I’m not saying men are totally stupid (!) of course they can understand the issues if they choose to. As can women. Equal pay is a good example of something that is simple. What is not so simple is the subtle discrimination in the workplace, the stereotypical views, the visual and linguistic imagery that reinforces patriarchy, the automatic privilege that men are born with because we live in a patriarchal society etc etc That’s before you even get into domestic abuse scenarios. I stick to commenting on imagery because that’s something I can talk about from my professional experience. Occasionally I might relate the odd family tale of my afther being verbally abusive and threatening to me and my mother. DV is very nasty, but I guess you can tell me about that.

      Support is good, but it is more valuable when people understand the issues in point and can grasp the whole overall picture. It’s about taking all the small components and realising they do have an impact when they are put together.

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      • Kev says:

        Don’t be silly, that’s completely difference. You were thinking about snowy’s needs when you took the rucksack as any loving pet owner should. Just don’t go getting him dyed pink and blue…you would have to change his name and we would have to fall out. 😉

        I can see the necessity for coats on dogs. Again, thinking of your dog, not yourself. Of course Pippa needs his raincoats when it’s chucking it down. Would you go out without one? …I’ve seen the pics with him wearing them…bless!

        I honestly don’t know enough about animal diets to be able to comment on them properly. However, knowing you as I do, I’m pretty confident that you did your research and thought strongly about their health and well-being.

        I’m sure I’ll give you plenty to banter about when we work on my life in America memoir. 🙂

        Yes, you’re right. People move on and friendships change. I have no doubt that if I ran into any of my friends that have done so it would be a joyous occasion for both of us. But it may never happen.

        When I went to Arizona a couple of years ago I got together with my friend there and it was a beautiful meeting. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. But we stay in touch.

        Yes the internet thing is different. I really don’t know what to say about it. Most the time it’s impersonal so there are no risks involved and therefore it’s easy to share more.

        Yes, it’s a shame about the patriarchal society. But you have to remember, none of us chose it. We were all born into it. How and where it started? Hell, I don’t know. Personally, I think life would be a lot easier for everybody if it wasn’t so and if equality really did exist.

        I think men and women would understand each other a whole lot more and there would be no silly stuff about who is superior or inferior and all the rest of it. Men and women could simply work together to achieve common goals without all the stigma between the sexes which has come about due to patriarchal idealism. Anyway, I’ve said my piece. I’ll leave it at that.

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        • I was concerned that a young pup couldn’t walk that far. I was happy to carry him if he couldn’t. Turned out he could, but I wanted to be prepared. Didn’t know if a taxi would take us, and A was stuck in gib.

          He will always be Snowy and Copito de Nieve. Even I’ve stopped dyeing my hair. There is a blog post somewhere about that one 😀

          Pippa’s fur really holds the water and when the weather turns damp there is more chance of his arthritis flaring up. I don’t like dosing him up with drugs (cox 2 inhibitors) so prevention is better than cure. But we always have some in the house for when he has a poorly paw.

          My two Brit dogs (on the veg diet) lived long and healthy lives. I think that says enough.

          I’m really looking forward to the American memoir. But when will you find the time to write it? 😀

          I don’t know what to say about the internet thing either. Meet someone, become close, and clear off the next day 😀

          OK, fair enough none of us chose patriarchy. But we can do our best to undo it or change it and most people don’t. That’s the bottom line. I do my bit by writing about some of it. Simplistic but as a lot of people don’t even get that message I have to start somewhere. I really don’t feel like getting into the whole Big Three (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) patriarchal discussion. I leave that for others. But it does impact on peoples’ views. Unfortunately. And men are inherently bossy and like to be in charge 😀

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          • Kev says:

            And rightfully so. 🙂 Copito De Nieve: I’ll admit…I looked it up and then kicked myself for not figuring it out! I really am rusty. 😦 I usually assume that A is working. I’m pretty sure you would go together and/or take the land rover otherwise. Don’t you drive now, Kate?

            I know it doesn’t really compare, but Aragorn has long fur and if he gets caught in the rain, he really gets soaked…towel time. So I am imagine if pippa got wet. But Rico, I can dry him off with the palm of my hand and my jeans.

            It most certainly does! 🙂

            Funny enough, I was working out a bit of an outline during a boring time at work. Now I don’t normally do that…but I figured, what the hell? It can’t hurt. I already have a prologue written and the first chapter started.

            I couldn’t agree more about the big three…one of the reasons I don’t like religion even though I used to be a Christian. (used to be…being the key phrase here.) I’m not going to be baited by your last statement. 😛

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          • My Spanish neighbours gave him the name when we were explaining ‘Snowy’ to them. Spanish call him Copito and Brits call him Snowy 😀 One of my Span neighbours does manage ‘Esnowy’. I try and remember to call him Copito from time to time, but Snowy rolls off the tongue more easily. As does Little Rat. Or ratito.

            It was my period in Spanish exile so A had to come back to Gib with the big dog. Since Pippa pulled me over on a cat-chasing mission and decimated my right arm I’ve not walked him. Frail old woman me 😦 He’s had A over too, but my arm was out of action for at least four months. Despite having three LRs we’ve only got one on the road 😀

            Feel free to send me anything you want when you want. We can agree the charge later.

            Weren’t you at a seminary or something? I can’t remember as I really switch off to anything religious. I think it’s an interesting theory academically, a bit like I enjoyed working in cervical screening, but I don’t agree with that either. I’ve read a few blogs recently from former Christians who are surprisingly active about denouncing it. Probably a bit like ex-smokers I suppose. As I’ve never been either, I can’t say I’m speaking from experience.

            As for the last statement you know it’s true so there’s not a lot you can say to it. I’m never really sure whether gender stereotypes are a result of an imposition by the Big Three, or whether the Big Three were used to justify it, as for example, religion was used as an excuse to justify so many wars, murders, executions – and still is. Examples, Crusades, Ferdinand and Isabella, the Auto de FĂŠ, Northern Ireland, Arab/Israeli war, Islamic terrorism. To me, all I see is that it does more harm than good.

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          • Kev says:

            They sound just like Mexicans…they come up with words like that. lol Ratito…you’re rotten…rotito! 😉

            They should have left you in exile…rotito 😛

            There will be plenty, I’m sure. 🙂

            That’s correct…you’ll learn all about it in my bio so I’m not going into it here.

            Suffice it to say I agree with you about religion doing more harm than good…that is my stance exactly. Yes, even today, in the middle east, for example they still use religion as an excuse for unspeakable acts.

            Not so long ago a woman was stoned…shia law or something…I forget all the details…oh yes, she committed adultery…I was utterly shocked..they still do that! It’s horrendous. Wish I’d have been there…I know damn well who would have been getting stoned and it wouldn’t have been the woman…don’t get me started!

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          • Copito isn’t a literal translation of Snowy, but we pointed to the snow on the hill above us, saying es como nieve and Copito de Nieve just stuck.

            Rotito indeed! I’ve not heard that one. Sounds like a derivative of roto (romper) ie broken, which would make sense.

            Plenty of charges or plenty of drafts? 😀

            On my subsequent post about religion which I decided in the end to write to get it out of my hair, yes? I said I’d read around quite a bit. Some people pointed out the good, and others the bad. Some like me, consider it has caused more harm than good. And actually if it has caused harm in the first place what use is it?

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  5. Kev says:

    PS: Thanks for the link! 🙂

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  6. cobbies69 says:

    Another selection of argumentative and discussion points, and knowing what side of the fence one is. As you know [probably] I was brought up in the New Forest, a small village where snobbery was very rife. dogs and horses top of their agenda and what you have said hit home with a lot of this. We had a husky/samoy got from RSPCA kennels and then a beagle. It was mentioned several times about a pedigree and getting one. Why I ask? Even though being a man,I think, I am all for feminist movement as I understand it that is. Maybe that is the feminist side of me. And to finish off my comment, which I must admit Kj I am always wary about writing.. I think politics and religion should stick to their own. I hate religion butting in on politics and vice versa. After all just lately religion needs to get its own house in order, well I suppose politics do also. I expect you will get many points passed to you on this post and subjects. great talking points. 😉

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    • Yup, I remember the NF childhood and imagined it could be quite snobby although very nice place to live. I was reading something about it on an ebook last week.

      What difference does breeding make? Just look at some of the royals for example.

      I think a lot of men are reasonable and don’t all see women as sex objects or think they are inferior. But the cultural norms that are indoctrinated into us perpetuate that. Why else do women shave their legs?

      I can live with a political discussion. I can’t handle the religious ones because then one is dealing with a belief not in facts. OK politics is a belief, but religion is very very nasty and insidious. Basically all people need to do is keep their nose out of someone else’s business. What’s difficult about that?

      Thanks Gerry.

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  7. cobbies69 says:

    PS: I have fallen out with many just lately, including family,, because I am not what they want me to be,,, I am me…

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  8. Vicky says:

    I’ve always though politics and religion cause more problems in the world than just about anything else.
    I’m not religious, and don’t know enough about politics, so any discussion on those subjects would be a waste of my time, time I’d rather spend looking after my rescue dogs.

    I’ve slowly drifted back into Facebook, after I threw my dummy out over a year ago.
    On my return I ditched everyone who was a cyber friend though, now I have a grand total of 28 friends, all folk who I know personally.

    Even here on Word Press, I don’t follow/read many blogs and there is only yourself who I am in contact with via e-mail.

    Jeez, I sound like a bit of a recluse 😮

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    • I realised what a problem religion was when I was at university and we spent our time studying medieval history and all the wars in the name of religion. Says it all.

      I don’t mind discussing politics, but I lose patience with religious fanatics, I find them stupid. Unlike rescue dogs of course.

      I think my FB tally got up to around 135. A lot of them were very nice (dog people for the most part) but I just decided it was no longer a good use of my time. You couldn’t have an intelligent discussion without someone defriending you, and it was too suck suck sucky. I’m not sure I know 28 people so you beat me on that one!

      I’m cutting down on the blogs I read/follow to get rid of the non-entities. I do have more email contact than you, but it’s intermittent. I’m not looking for loads of intimacy, just a good read and a little chat about whatever.

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  9. EllaDee says:

    I love that the internet, well the blogging world really as that’s where I spend my time, is a platform for just about everything. I don’t bother falling out if I disagree, I simply delete or wander off. For the topics I agree on or am in need of education about (oh, there are many and you’ve been so good about it), I love the information and awareness raising.
    Same in the real world, I don’t bother arguing anymore, especially about the current elephant in the room “boat people aka asylum seekers”. People with one dimensional points of view don’t want to hear what I could have to say. Far easier to get a cup of tea, check out the garden or leave.

    Like

    • Not just blogging, Pinterest and Instagram now it seems! Forgot to say on my comment that I started a Tumblr site with which I do absolutely nothing 😀 My posts get sent over there and it looks pretty and that’s about it.

      It’s actually not me that falls out. It’s the others who all out with me in most cases. Apart from FaceBook where I wandered off. I did tell people I’d be doing it so I don’t know why they moaned about it. “Oh please don’t, Oh we’ll miss you, Oh!!” Yawn. Leaves anyway. Find me on my blog because that’s where I’ll be.

      Thanks. I’m not sure I have, but if you think so that’s great.

      Interestingly, I don’t argue either. The boat people one is funny as it was happening years ago. History repeats itself or what? Oddly enough, I had an internet exchange (no not a spat!) with someone about why argue with people – it was about religion – or even waste time commenting on their blogs when you are banging your head against a brick wall. His – valid – point, was that it was important to dissent to make change in attitudes and opinions, but there are some battles you are never going to win. I prefer to expend my energy on the ones where I can make some impression or impact on peoples’ views. People entrenched in their views against gay marriage and abortion will never change. OK, 0.0000005 % may change, but the rest won’t.

      Accept the situation
      Change the situation
      Change yourself
      Leave the situation

      One of my favourite quotes that I learned on my MBA about problem-solving, I’ve probably quoted it before but it works in all cases.

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  10. I think I’d add analyse the situation as a necessary prologue to the four options, but that might well be me being picky.

    I have neither the time nor the inclination to visit blogs with messages of which I disapprove and I don’t use Facebook except to keep vaguely in touch with people I don’t see elsewhere.

    There is enough aggro available in the real world around me to keep me busy – though with expat groups the fallings out seem to take the form of freezing out via gossip and innuendo rather than volcanic outpourings.

    Discussion seems to be a lost art…..

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    • That’s a fair comment, but I guess it’s implied anyway, or else how can you decide how to act/react? It’s a bit like option appraisal but in a personal format. I used to loathe option appraisal because I thought the solution for whatever was always glaringly obvious and it was really just an exercise, but these days I find myself doing it all the time (much to Partner’s irritation) but I tend to use it as a wa y of brainstorming and making sure I haven’t missed any options.

      I do find some of the comments entertaining. Some of the atheists I visit (I agree with their message) have a sharp sense of humour and their comments on the religious blogs do make me laugh. However the religious blogs per se do not make me laugh. Nor do the comments from their like-minded Walkers down the True Path of Righteousness to Heaven and God’s Love. I actually find some of the comments and posts very disturbing.

      I left a comment on one blog. The post was celebrating the fact that World Vision, which I gather is some Christian do-gooder organisation, has decided to ban people from working for them if they are in a same-sex marriage. Apparently they had originally decided to allow it, but there was such an outcry from the dedicated religious right who believe in loving everyone but don’t believe in letting them take their own decisions, that they reversed their initial decision. I asked if it was legal to discriminate like that? I’m waiting for my answer, but no doubt the church is above the law because what God wants is more important than civil rights. I find that sort of attitude (theirs not mine of course) very very worrying. But basically, normally I don’t have the time or energy to read or engage in anything with which I strongly disagree. I rest assured that I will be OK and go to heaven because all those good people out there are praying for my soul and my redemption.

      We had some aggro in the real world a few years back. It’s not nice 😦 The problem with taking a stand on a point of principle is that you are often dealing with unscrupulous thugs. As you well know.

      I have little to do with ex-pats. My village is not an ex-pat ghetto so virtually everyone we speak to is Spanish apart from the odd America Latino/a. Brits are the exception rather than the rule. Gib is different as it is pretty multi-national. So among the people we speak to are Moroccans, Gibbos, Brits, Spaniards, Russian, Polish, for example. Mainly the first four but there are plenty of other nationalities here.

      I think you are correct. People do not discuss reasonably or logically any more and I’m probably guilty of that too. Like everyone I have a fixed point of view and I am unlikely to change my mind at this late stage in life. However I do appreciate the thoughtful comments people leave on here, that take time and effort to write. It might not be discussion from opposite points of view, but it is at least an exchange of opinions and experiences.

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  11. I think it should be obvious too but you wouldn’t believe the number of clowns I come across who just chant mantras without thinking of what is – to me and to you – obvious.

    i read a couple of Anglican blogs – one, Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley (I may have this misspelt as writing off the top of my head), very funny indeed…but I avoid the God bothering sites like the plague. There’s a dog blog I like which has a writer with a strong religious faith – but there’s nothing shoved down your throat.

    I’m used to aggro….stick your head above the parapet and get it in spades….and it is interesting to see the lengths people will go to to hurt and discredit you. I have a theory that the unscrupulous feel entitled to do whatever it is you criticise and therefore feel entitled to attack by whatever means….and the pack join in.
    I was most interested while in France to meet a woman for the first time at a music event who told me of all the iniquities of the person living in the big house (me) and her drug baron husband (Leo) and warned me not to frequent them if I wanted to be accepted by the Britpack.
    I thanked her and asked her how she had met them…
    Oh, I haven’t of course…I was warned not to…

    Here we are beyond the pale with the American expats as we don’t think that a man who used his children as a labour force on his finca and had them selling bread from trays in the street like Victorian vagrants was a martyr to unjust government when, refusing to have them vaccinated – a legal requirement whatever you might think about the practice – got into a stand off with the police and fled with his family across country in the height of the rainy season as a consequence of which one of his daughters drowned while crossing a swollen stream.
    Personally I’d have him done for whatever the modern equivalent of gross negligence manslaughter might be, but this is not a popular view.

    I like an exchange of views – a heated one if need be – but where the heat comes from a well laid fire and not from a match thrown into petrol.

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  12. It’s a bit like risk-taking. I normally say I’m not a risk-taker (says the woman who chucked her well-paid job and cleared off to Spain and also married her partner three or four months after she met him), but the truth is, the risks I take are calculated. I don’t go for random risk-taking though where there isn’t sufficient information to make a decision.

    I was reading someone who was brought up with ACE – which I’d never head of but is Accelerated Christian Education or some such – and it’s basically not just brainwashing kids, but also teaching them misinformation. Orwell would have been proud of them. Example, the world was made in seven days by God of course, as we all know. Being taught at home or in ACE ‘schools’ so that pure young minds are not defiled by something that doesn’t accord with the One True Word.

    This person, and a fair number of others, at some point in their life twig that there might be other views out there and consequently reject this evangelical codswallop. But the ones who are still heavily into big-time religion and want to impose their world view on everyone else are a danger to society. If people want to believe in fairy tales and someone sitting on a cloud with a white beard, that’s up to them. But when they want everyone else to subscribe to such nonsense, that’s a very different matter.

    Did you tell the woman? That’s a classic story. Love it.

    The other would surely have come as death by misadventure or something wouldn’t it? Whatever you might have preferred. I don’t remember death due to gross negligence but it’s a fair few years since I sat in court for murder/manslaughter trials.

    Heat is OK. But that’s why I tend to stick to topics I know about if I do engage in a discussion. That’s why I don’t engage in religious discussion. I see no value in quoting the bible as I think it is unreliable and largely, if not totally, fictitious so why bother? My only minor interest is in asking why they are so homophobic (although claim not to be) and why they think they should stick their noses into someone’s life who has no interest in interfering with their crass and asinine lives. Not in those words I might add. But that is the other point about discussions. Theoretically we should all stick to the subject in hand, or possibly divert to other topics if accepted, but of course people can’t resist descending to the personal. And to be honest that’s where some of the laughs do come from. There is some really good dry sarcasm out there which totally suits my humour. Usually British as it doesn’t seem to be something Americans are born with.

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  13. Death by misadventure…coroner’s finding: gross negligence manslaughter… criminal prosecution, and I’d certainly go for the latter.
    If you cross a watercourse in the rainy season in a storm you risk a sudden rush of water coming down which can knock anything off its feet; he was responsible for his children’s safety and had no proper reason to flee in that fashion.

    Yes, I told her that she had inadvertently lost her street cred with the Britpack – but that I wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t….
    I used to see her occasionally after that in a local supermarket; she would duck into another aisle to avoid me.

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    • Ah yes, I’m probably thinking of the lad who ended up hanged when he was having a fine sexual time. Death by misadventure. Or death by masturbation actually, might not send you blind but it can sure kill you depending on how you do it.

      I’ve not done gross negligence ones, although the H&S Act was changed to make owners of industrial complexes (eg petrochemicals) guilty of something or other if there were flaws in safety procedures that led to accidents and deaths. Same principle I guess as the watercourse.

      Haha. Avoiding you. The person of the unknown iniquities, married to the drug baron. The guy up the street who bought me a drink when Partner was away now either avoids walking past the house or ducks under the wall, or looks the other way if we see him sitting outside the bar when we are off to the shops. People never fail to amaze.

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  14. The only person that I have ever fallen out with on here is you! That’s a compliment!

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    • Haha! I’m happy to exchange words and fall out, but I’m also happy to make up. I don’t see any problem with that, occasionally it even leads to the occasional clearer understanding, Occasionally 😉

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