Whacky week on WordPress

Flitting around earlier, as you do, when there are more important things that needed doing, I came upon one of my pet hates.

One of those requests that you head over to some site or other to vote for the blogger who has entered a competition for most wonderful post/photo/blog of the month/year/decade/century/ever etc

Apart from the fact that I didn’t think it was the most wonderful whatever post, that sort of request inspires the naughty person inside me to go and vote for someone else. Well, it would if I could be bothered.

Where is the value in pestering your regular readers to go and vote for you to win a meaningless award? Surely the whole point is that people are reading and commenting on your blog anyway. Is that not enough satisfaction?

Why do people want these prizes that can be so easily manipulated? What is the value in that?

Apart from the fact that I am too British to even considering asking, how would one word it? ‘Excuse me please, I don’t want to bother you, and you really don’t have to, but if you don’t mind, I would very much appreciate it if you could possibly pop over to Vote For The Best Blog Post Ever. And could you vote for me when you do. Thank you so much.’

I couldn’t do that in a million years. And yet, I read blogs where people shout AT THEIR READERS – GO AND VOTE NOW. FOR ME!

Have these people no shame. Sin verguenza in fact. (One of my favourite Spanish phrases).

Now, if anyone thinks they have identified the blog in question, it’s OK, because the author doesn’t read my blogs. So we can all rest happily.

Next, I read on The Daily Post, always a good source of blogging material, that there is a competition on BlogHer.

This is the same sort of thing, you nominate a blog post, either one of yours, or someone else’s. These days, it seems everyone is all about ME, so it’s unlikely that anyone else’s will get nominated unless of course, you put out a plea on your blog – yes – please nominate me etc etc blah blah.

I was on BlogHer with roughseas’ predecessor, itchyfeetatforty. I never did anything with it to be honest, but was mildly gratified to see my gazpacho soup recipe featured at one point. Did I get any extra readers from that? What do you think? Which probably explains why I did stuff all with BlogHer.

Turns out that you can’t actually urge your fans and lovers to vote for you though. That is down to a select group of people. Somewhat like Freshly Pressed. I mean, why are there no criteria for these sort of silly media awards? Mine of course, would be short paragraphs.

I read a new blog today that said the author only had one follower and how did they get more. I popped over for a look. There were no paragraphs, let alone short ones. It was a mummy blog. An anti-feminist, anti-abortion, I believe in the sky fairy sort-of blog. I figured I couldn’t add any value with my advice about how to blog.

There seem to be a lot of anti-feminist blogs around at the moment. Why do women feel the need to say they are not a feminist? That is the default anyway. Most women are not feminists, and even half (at least) of the ones who think they are, have no conception of feminism.

Clare and Pink both highlighted some religious nut from Australia who drones on about the evils of homosexuality, and feminism. RN from Aus thinks all women should wear high heels, look pretty, need a man to protect them and tell them what to do. Sadly for RN from Aus, I know more than a few men who don’t think like that and don’t want to spend their life wiping their heels, high or low regardless, on a mindless doormat.

And how is this for a generalisation according to RN from A?

Left wing people favour:

• death
• the opposite of procreation
• abortions
• euthanasia
• divorce
• drugs
• making marriage about sexual attraction and personal pleasure
• stifling enterprise
• welfare

and they are not fond of economic growth.

It’s probably fair to say that my views are left-wing, broadly speaking. Do I favour death? No I would like to prolong my life as long as possible.

People can have as many kids as they want (and can afford) but I just don’t want them. And for women who didn’t intend to get pregnant and for whatever reason did, I maintain they have the right to choose an abortion.

I don’t have a strong view about euthanasia. It’s really suicide by another name. I don’t think someone else (eg GPs) should decide it, eg Shipman, Moore (UK). Perhaps I might have a definite view when I’m facing death.

I don’t like divorce, I didn’t give my word to get married some 28 years ago not to mean it. If things don’t work out, we’d more likely separate than divorce.

I’ve never done drugs.

Yup, I like the idea of marriage being about sexual attraction, personal pleasure, and a lifelong friend and lover. I have no interest in kids and I would be a crap mother. The same could be said for my partner. What on earth would be the point of us having children? None.

Enterprise is great. So is hard work if it pays well. When there isn’t any, welfare is rather helpful. So is the NHS. Economic growth is ok when it benefits everyone and not just bankers, shareholders and greedy bastards.

Does that make me a typical lefty?

Meanwhile, Pink attracted an even bigger RN and they had a long, very long, debate on abortion. Idiot me, decided to look on EBRN’s blog and cringed.

This is truly the stuff of religious bigotry. If I wasn’t agnostic sitting on the fence and falling over the atheist side, this would definitely convince me.

These people are worrying. Because I can’t believe in a god, oops, ‘THEIR’ god, ie God, the Christian one, I am immoral. I can’t work out for myself that it isn’t a good idea to steal, rape, murder, or commit other crimes? Am I stupid? Do I really need a little guide book to tell me how to live my life? Or maybe I need a man because I am just a thicko woman who should be staying at home breeding kids and doing what my lord and master says. When I was a kid, one of our favourite phrases for expressing exasperation was Jesus Fucking Wept. Seems appropriate in this context.

What is also worrying is the lack of tolerance. There is only one god, and all that. Well, there isn’t. There are lots of other religions, who have prophets and gods, and often more than one god within other religions.

Why the hell do these fundamentalist Christians think they are right? And moreso, why do they want to impose their asinine view on me and the rest of the world who doesn’t agree with them? Go and bible bash on your own, but leave the rest of us alone.

I don’t want your forgiveness nor that of your so-called god. I want a peaceful life without your interference. I don’t believe God created the world in seven days, or that the whale spat out Jonah, or that there was a ladder to heaven (although Jacob’s ladder was a good film), or that Lot’s wife was turned to a pillar of salt, or that Jesus rose from the dead after a few days. So there.

Next, having abandoned religious bigots, I found a Daily Post from the past. Should people use naughty words on their blogs? Well clearly I do. But not that often. Probably more often than most other blogs I read though. Sadly comments were closed on this one as it had been posted back in October when I was in my blissful internet idyll. Apparently the f-word is the big one. By which I assume if you write fuck on your blog it is likely to turn readers off.

The author (Michelle) said that ‘cursing’ was typical New Jersey. I think cursing is so quaint and American. In English it is swearing. When I went home from university my parents moaned about my ‘university language’. My partner works in construction where everyone swears. I worked in the public sector where everyone swears. I sure as hell don’t know who all these cosseted beings are that haven’t heard swear words or don’t use them but they don’t live in my world.

But interestingly, the majority of commenters wouldn’t swear on their blog. Or would switch off from a blog that used naughty words. Oh dear. That means I’ve fucked off a few more evangelicals at a guess.

I get offended by the use of different words as readers well know. One of the RNs referred to someone in a wheelchair as wheelchair-bound. Ouch. Very big ouch. Hey arsehole, get yourself on a disability awareness course. Oh, no, you won’t do that because it is left wing and politically correct and you wouldn’t possibly want to respect people in wheelchairs who don’t want to be considered bound. Trapped. Defined by their wheelchair.

My Spanish neighbours and friends in Gib sprinkle coño into their speech all the time. In English it is cunt and fairly offensive. Not a word I use, not because I dislike it per se, but because I don’t like using words describing women or their anatomy as an offensive term. Simple eh? I try to avoid bitch for the same reason. So in the scheme of things, I think fuck is pretty all-embracing and shouldn’t really offend anyone.

Finally in my round-up of the week, I noticed one blogger had bought his domain name and upgraded and was displaying videos. I mean who really wants to see a video of someone’s car bonnet being driven around at night? No accounting for taste.

As I said, a whacky week on WordPress.