Clothes – you are what you wear?

The Emperor’s New Clothes.

Or maybe those of the Empress.

Sitting in the bus station the other day, ie a bus station in Spain, I was watching everyone faffing around with their ‘phones. As you do. Even I do it. Mindless distraction.

The trouble with sticking your nose in a book is that you might miss the bus (Gus), or maybe people can’t/don’t read books these days. So ‘phone messing is easier.

Eventually one of these ‘phone women got up. I couldn’t believe it. I could see every orifice in her body, and I’m not just talking about her mouth.

I struggled not to look, I was so surprised.

Now, before I sound like the ‘these women are asking for it’ brigade, I’ll write a little more about skimpy clothing.

1. Our town in Spain is a beach resort. Women wander around the streets in bikinis.
2. I have worn similar skimpy clothing.
3. I have visited nudist beaches, without my clothes, I add quickly.

To expand upon these points.


After the Franco régime was dead in the water or muerto en el agua, one of the good things was that it was no longer illegal to sunbathe nude. You could take off your clothes on whatever beach you wanted.

Mostly women bathe topless, some bathe nude. Men don’t usually. And then you have the nudist beaches. It goes without saying we have one in our village. (We have everything!).

One day, we were lying there happily enjoying the sun and I heard strange noises. What’s that? I asked sunny warm Partner. ‘Oh, just some guy having a wank.’

‘You’re joking.’

I turned round. He wasn’t joking. Never did discover who the man was interested in. Me or Partner?

We didn’t sunbathe in the same place after that.

There was also the day I was on my own down the beach. Peaceful, quiet, not hot but nicely warm. A swim and a dry off in the sun. I was half-way there, ie I was topless. The beach was pretty empty. Some sleazearse came and plonked himself two inches away from me. Spaniards and personal space do not co-exist.

I turned over. As in, you can look at my clothed arse rather than my bare tits.

After he’d made some rather blatant propositions, asked for a date, asked for lunch, I said I was going home for lunch.

‘Oh with me?’

‘No, with my husband.’

Just honestly. He must have been at least 20 years younger than me too.

You want me to provide lunch for you and sex??????

Skimpy clothing

Been there done that.

I have a photo of me in similar shorts to the ‘View Every Orifice Woman.’ Mostly it was in the family garden but I suspect I may have worn them on holiday too. For which I blame my parents for being totally blind. I also have a photo of VEOW but I’m not posting it, although she was sitting down when I took her pic, but unfair to identify her.

I sat on the step today with Partner at lunchtime and watched the women walk by. I walk down Main Street and look at the difference in clothing between women and men.

Give me one good reason why women wear the least clothing possible and men wear at least a T shirt and a long pair of shorts?

Yes, of course, this is a feminist post. What else did you think it would be?

But if men can wear knee-length shorts and a T shirt in summer – why can’t women? The need to acquire that delectable tan? To show off whatever assets you have? Some would be better off not doing so, as they have rather too many assets, but that’s not the point of this post.

Bikini around the town?

Walking around town in a bikini. Or orifice revealing shorts. Should you? Why would you want to? Societal ie patriarchal pressure?

I would not recommend it. Not because I don’t agree with people being free to wear what they want, I do, but mostly we do it because of subliminal conditioning. Look at me, I am soooo gorgeous and sexy. I am for sale, I am available, or whatever.

There is a place for nudity, minimal clothing, invariably at the beach, or a swimming pool, or your own back garden.

Years ago we went to Seville in December. It was cold (well, that’s relative) and raining. Anyway, it was Spain and we were on holiday so we wore shorts. And decided it was inappropriate so our next city visits included trousers in winter.

In Morocco in late June, I wore a long-sleeved shirt and trousers. I was treated with the utmost respect wherever I went.

While I’m always happy to break rules and flout convention, I think there is a time and place for doing so. Or perhaps I’m breaking the rules by not wearing minimal clothing that shows off as much of my body as possible. I don’t want to look sexually attractive (if that’s possible in your 50s because we all know, the younger the woman, the sexier they are).

The bottom line. So to speak. What am I wearing today? When I went to the shops and did the sandwich delivery service and sat on the pavement with Partner during his lunch break.

His camo-styls shorts with nice big strong pockets, just above the knee. A pair of scruffy trainers. And a sleeveless vest thing. Well, I do have rather nice shoulders after all.

Oh and some green beads. I have no idea what they are. I forget. They come from Brazil.

Which leads me nicely to Ella Dee who has given me an award.

The Blogger Award. I have to answer these questions.

1. How did you come to reside where you are today?

We left the UK to go to Spain for a different life before we got too old. Except we’ve always been doing that anyway, eg Australia, India, Italy … and decided to buy somewhere in Gib to put our eggs in different baskets.

2. What do you collect?

Rescue dogs? Bikes? Anything that’s unwanted really. Readers of roughseas will know that Partner is an ace scavenger from rubbish bins. If we can’t use it, give it away, it will get sold at a boot sale.

3. What is your favourite fragrance/aroma/smell?

Herbs, lavender, curry, smelly furry dog.

4. What book/s are you reading/writing now?

Black Cabs by John McLaren (one of our free acquisitions of course). Only part way through but a good tale about the stock exchange and London cabbies, so far, I’d recommend it. No book on the go for writing at the moment although there should be.

I’m also reading something called Tickle His Pickle but I got bored with that. Another freebie and you can work out what that is about from the title.

5. What jewelry do you wear daily?

Earrings. Silver at the moment as cheaper to replace when one falls out. The gold ones only come out for unsuccessful interviews or sometimes the bank.

Beads thrown around the neck from time to time as they make me look slightly smarter and I do live in a city. My grandmother’s diamond and gold half eternity engagement ring when I go to the bank.

After getting stung by a vicious bee in Spain above my wedding ring, I haven’t worn that since, as I thought either my finger or ring needed to be chopped off. I don’t even know why I was wearing it as I’d spent years not wearing it.

As I say above, appearances matter, and while I don’t agree with it, I accept we have to play the game. To some degree. Just twist it to suit ourselves.

About roughseasinthemed

I write about my life as an English person living in Spain and Gibraltar, on Roughseas, subjects range from politics and current developments in Gib to book reviews, cooking and getting on with life. My views and thoughts on a variety of topics - depending on my mood of the day - can be found over on Clouds. A few pix are over on Everypic - although it is not a photoblog. And of course my dog had his own blog, but most of you knew that anyway. Pippadogblog etc
This entry was posted in blogging, dogs, family, feminism, musings, rescue dogs, WPlongform and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Clothes – you are what you wear?

  1. bluonthemove says:

    Clothes, you are what you wear. Well that means I’m out of fashion and seen better days.

    As for shorts, I don’t even own a pair, nearest I have is boxer like swimming trunks which I wear down at the Virgin Active health club and sometimes strictly within my home if it is a very hot humid night.

    Can’t see myself buying any either, I haven’t got the knees for them. Interesting article on the BBC about whether men should be allowed to take their tops off even if its very hot.


    • Me too. On both counts.

      I don’t think Partner wore shorts before he went to Aus. Skinny legs, one very skinny due to polio as a kid. For whatever reason he lost his embarrassment over there and happily wanders around in them all year. As does our neighbour across the landing.

      While I prefer knee length shorts/cut off trousers, I will wear full length linen ones in summer. There is a total mix of clothing here. Tourists wearing virtually nothing and barristers robed up to the eyeballs.

      Actually we did buy a few pairs this week for him. They will probably fit me with a very tightened belt but I haven’t tried them on yet. They were for national day, ie a red pair and a white pair so he (we) have a choice. And we chucked in a khaki pair for good measure. The shops are full of red and white clothes now and from previous shopping disasters we’ve learned that there will be nothing left in August let alone September. Unless it’s XXXXXL or extremely tiny.

      Mmmm. Men taking off their tops. It’s hardly that hot in the UK. If people can walk around the interior of Andalucía eg Sevilla, Granada, Córdoba, without taking off their clothes, what is the need in the UK? Without getting into the sexism argument (ie if men can why can’t women) the obvious comment is that it is plain stupid because what you need to do in summer when it is hot is wear cool loose clothing, as in slip, slap and slop. (Shirt, cream and hat – Australian) Exposing yourself to the sun is crass in the extreme.


  2. Office Diva says:

    Very thought provoking. My views have changed on clothing with age, with my level of happiness within myself, and also as my body has aged.
    For me, clothes speak to us about how a person values themselves and communicates their self-worth. Women (sometimes men, too!) who wear revealing clothes seem to shout their insecure emotional status to the world. They need the visual approval of strangers to boost their fragile egos. (I am not speaking of the younger version of myself, who craved all of the above. Live and learn!)
    I think women like me (khaki trousers, short-sleeved shirts, comfy shoes for work); knee-length shorts/tank tops for summer casual wear) who are finally happy with themselves and with their love relationship, tend to offer less flesh on display. Mature single women (I hope?), should not have to try so hard to offer something visual to attract a mate; but then, I cannot say as I am not in the dating pool.
    My clothes tell the world, “I am 47. I do not care if you notice me or not. I am happy with my relationship. I do not need to impress you with my looks or lack of them, my finances or lack of them.” (Gucci girl, I am not).
    These days, my clothes are never mistaken for, “Here’s my number, call me maybe.”

    Thank you for the reminder of my younger days, when life was skimpier! 🙂


    • Thanks OD. It really started, apart from VEOW, with me wandering around Gib wondering why men and women seem to dress so differently. It’s usually the tourists to be honest. Having nothing better to think about, or rather, not wanting to think about anything important, I pondered – the heat’s the same, why do we wear different clothes?

      I’ve always been annoyed that women’s clothing is more expensive than men’s. So I’m thinking why is our clothing skimpier and flighty and insubstantial. You can never put anything in pockets on women’s clothing. That’s if there even are any pockets. Which means you then have to carry a bag. Security risk. Life conspires against us. Even in clothing.

      When I dressed for show in the past it never worked anyway. Obviously says a lot about my fashion sense. My partner’s first comment (OK the second, the first isn’t for repeating) was how awful my chic German leather trousers were. Maybe they were a bit holey but I thought they were good enough.

      I think our young selves don’t realise how conditioned we are to make ourselves (or attempt to) look wonderful for approval by society in general, and MEN in particular. Which is one of the points of this post.

      So long as my clothes are clean and comfortable, that’s all I want and I think it’s all anyone should have to do. I dread getting a job and buying a whole new work wardrobe, but as it hasn’t happened yet, that’s not an issue for now.

      I haven’t been in the dating pool for years, although have been surprised at some rather silly offers qv the one on the beach in the post. Although obviously clothes played no part in that. Either you like the look of me, and something else about me, or you don’t. Take it or leave it. Or take me or leave me.

      My glasses are Gucci. I was quite embarrassed when I had chosen the frames and noticed the GG.


  3. EllaDee says:

    Oh, that happens to me occasionally… missing /getting onto wrong train due to nose in book, taking photos distraction… but I’ve thankfully never been distracted by getting an eyeful of someone’s bits 😉

    I’ve also never been on a nude beach or nude, even topless on a beach. I did once come across a topless woman swimming at the secluded beach I was walking on… fine by me but not my thing.

    My usual beach attire is mens boardies and a bikini top for swimming and stroll and a t-shirt on top for longer periods in the sun or if I need to go to the shops or call into the MIL’s. I don’t get why womens boardies don’t come in a variety of fitted-loose styles.

    Revealing clothing has never been my style, although it may be a matter of perspective because I remember as teenager Dad commanding “you’re not going out in THAT”!

    Other than around the house I prefer to be clothed. In our Sydney apartment we are in full view of the street so it’s blinds closed-clothes off but even around the house at TA it can be tricky as the bathroom is an add-on out the back, so if someone happens in just as you’ve gotten out of the shower and the bathroom door is open, which it often is – it’s a tiny bathroom/laundry combo – we do have a bell on the back gate to alert of incoming RHS neighbours, and we have a blind as well which is sort of effective. With LHS neighbour with whom we have mutual visibility and who has been known to do a nude run to the clothesline or the tank to check the water, we have an agreement that whatever we happen to see it doesn’t matter…

    I agree “there is a time and place”. I’m not a dressy person but I dress for my own comfort both physically and also mentally… does it matter? is this appropriate for the occasion? And I’m casual as well about what other people wear, unlike my MIL who is not comfortable with anyones public scruffiness. She often comments to the G.O. “oh you’re not wearing that!” when he very obviously is… usually the offending item is his favourite holey Route 66 t-shirt I brought him back from LA in 2000.

    You segued nicely to the award. The questions weren’t drafted with you in mind but they were a good fit. We have a few things in common – collecting (my tally this week is new-in-packet garden shears & roll of weed mat, 2 banana lounge chairs, 1 shade sail), favourite smells – I miss furry dog, silver earrings, no wedding ring, and green beads (which are my favourite).

    I think “…play the game. To some degree. Just twist it to suit ourselves” is a great philosophy :)


    • Trouble with reading a book is, you don’t enjoy the book because you keep having to look up – or, you concentrate on the book and the inevitable happens.

      I didn’t mind seeing the bits, I just wondered whether she knew (or cared) that they were very visible.

      Hey, I blame Australia for my first exposure to nudism! Somewhere around Coogee or wherever. Can’t remember which one.

      Even my parents indulged in it once. And they were mega-prude. Midnight, hotel swimming pool, no-one around. Me, I like it, but it’s not for everyone. I don’t know anyone else who has said they’ve ever done it. What’s funny on the Spanish beach is the total different type of body you see. Young beautiful ones, old fat bellies. But if people are comfortable, that’s what matters to me.

      Boardies????? That’s one Australianism I’ve not heard.

      I’ve not been one for revealing clothing either, partly because there was not much to reveal. I have worn short skirts though. Which was advantageous at an Italian restaurant in the UK where the staff were so busy looking at my legs in my Calvin Klein (yes I know, i did do all that at one point) mini-skirt that we got the bill for half price! It was well cut (the skirt) and just curved round nicely and tightly enough not to reveal anything – I hope! Partner was reciting the story of the cheap bill one day in the pub, only to find the restaurant owner was sitting next to him. Luckily he laughed.

      In Spain I have wandered around in a bikini or naked but we’re not overlooked. In Gib, I’ll wear sleepwear, top and shorts. Well, sometimes.

      Tell me about holey clothes. We wear ours into oblivion. The hems on his shorts are frayed, and I patch his overalls until there are patches on top of patches. We do have some tidy clothes for smartness though. When a friend’s wife died, I went to buy some black clothes (didn’t have any here) so we could look respectable at the funeral. Time and place. Most people usually fall over if they see us looking smart but we can still do it.

      I thought it was a neat fit with the post and the award 😀 Or at least it was in my mind. I have yet to write about my excellent acquisition of a dinner service, pans, flasks and goodness knows what else. Although yours sounds rather good too.

      In the past I have collected other things, stamps, china, but now it’s the gifts and the rubbish bin raids that give pleasure 😀 I look around my room and all the artwork has been given to us. What better way to collect?

      You might miss the furry dog, by the sound of things you don’t miss the wedding ring! I don’t buy jewellery any more unless I run out of lost silver earrings. My days of expensive gold have gone and I’ve never bought diamonds. I don’t need to, I have not just grandma’s ring but my mum’s too.

      I like the green beads, whatever they are (they’re set in silver) partly because they match my eyes, more or less. I’ve got some amethyst ones too, but I wear those less. And another set of green ones, you can put them on whatever you are wearing and they seem to work.

      Truth is, I was never good at playing the game. I didn’t know what it was for half of my life and when I worked it out, I decided I didn’t like it.


      • EllaDee says:

        Boardies aka board shorts, great for swimming in the surf as opposed to bikini bottoms.
        I’m looking forward to hearing about your finds… I forgot the big esky when I tallied up my list.
        I know where you’re coming from with the Calvin Klein skirt… every now & again you get an article of clothing that feels it conveys super hero powers when you wear it… for me it was a olive greeen suit (sounds awful but the cut and fabric were lovely… until I scorched the pants with the iron) and black Country Road pants which I still have.
        I wear an opal mayaswellbe ring on the middle finger of my left hand because that’s the finger it fit and felt right on when the G.O. bought it for me.
        I’ve been missing dressing up my outfits with beads, being winter everything is too layered/covered, but I wear my greeen beads as much as I can.
        Your last sentence should be a famous quote 🙂


        • Ah, I tend to swim in a swimsuit. Bikinis are ok for sunbathing but terrible for swimming. Unless I’m doing the nude thing, I have this convoluted procedure that involves swapping into a swimsuit for swimming and then changing back again when I get out of the water.

          Oooh, an eski sounds a good find 🙂 Lucky you. The garden shears sounded good too.

          Olive green sounds wonderful. I still have some olive green fabric that I never got around to making up, and have had more than one similar coloured suit. I love deep olive clothes, eg my Barbour jacket, three pairs of jodhpurs, sweatshirt .. do I need to say more?

          I burned a pullover in Sydney leaning over the cooker 😦 so I feel the scorched grief.

          It’s not exactly cold in Sydney in winter! It used to rain in the mornings though when I was going to some crappy job, Gordon and Gotch I think. If it wasn’t raining it was a bit chilly. A has no memory of the rain. Selective memory syndrome. For him, the sun always shone in Australia.

          As for the famous quote, feel free to re-use it 😉


  4. Interesting thoughts, reminded me of the story of Zaragoza Orts and ‘The War of the Bikini’. Luckily we don’t have many women wandering around Grimsby in skimpy clothing even during our heat wave. Cleethorpes however is a different matter and is not a place for the squeamish!


    • Hello Mr Provocative.

      I’ve never heard of that so will have to look it up. Will distract me from the cleaning I suppose, and the car insurance and all the rest of the things I don’t wish to do.

      I take it there are no unattractive men wandering around Grimsby or Cleethorpes? There certainly are in most places I visit/live.

      I suspect Ms VEOW would have passed the critical Petcher test in the looks category. Young, slim, pretty – didn’t you moan on one blog post about how the nude sunbathers weren’t good looking enough?

      Your heat wave is our normal summer. A question of perspective I suppose.


  5. I panicked there for a moment but Just checked my comment and confirmed that I didn’t use the word unattractive – PHEW! Although I did rather carelessly refer specifically to women. To balance things out I am just about to put my shoes on and walk into Grimsby!
    I think I moderated that nude sunbathers post in response to one of your earlier comments. Maybe not – I’ll check later.


    • Oh I see Orts and Bikini is a reference to your Benidorm post. Surprised you didn’t add the link. (Er, don’t bother). I thought it was a book. I apologise for not memorising your blog posts sufficiently well. Although I do recognise the ones that keep getting recycled.

      You didn’t need to add the word unattractive. Your comment said it all 🙂 ‘Luckily’ and ‘squeamish” conveyed the impression well enough.

      I thought it was the Moulin Rouge one you revised. The point however, to be slightly more serious, is that you won’t understand it. While ever you think women want to be called ladies because your women friends want to be ladies (all of whom no doubt have a degree in feminism), you will continue to write posts that conform to patriarchal expectations. As do most people, so take comfort in the fact that you are in the majority.

      To be honest, I would rather you admit you are sexist, don’t have a clue about feminism, and continue as you choose. Don’t change your posts because of my comments. I am not being sarcastic. For once.

      It’s not something to learn in a day. Or from a couple of blog comments. We’re all different and you can’t please anyone even half of the time, let alone everyone all of the time.


      • My comment was a genuine to a post that I found amusing. Your response is baffling. I have given myself away in my posts and that gives you the right to criticise me if you wish – but not my friends. You do not even remotely know them, what they do, the way that they live or how they behave so to be so openly disrespectful is uncalled for.


        • It wasn’t meant to be an amusing post. Which probably says it all in the ocean between our thinking. Or at least the North Sea, English Channel and Bay of Biscay.

          It was basically a post about how we judge people on appearance, clothing and how women are expected to dress differently to men. Everyone else got that. You didn’t? And how some of us, eg OD, ED, Vicky, choose the clothes we want to wear not what we are expected to wear.

          And where did I criticise your friends? in whom I have zilch interest. I repeated what you said in a previous comment. Your women friends want to be called ladies. So therefore all women are ladies according to you, because your friends know best. It doesn’t work like that.

          1. It is inaccurate
          2. It is sexist
          3. It is classist

          Now, if you want to disagree with my comments, that’s up to you. We have been down this road before. But so far, I see absolutely jack shit nada understanding of feminism on your part. I don’t have an issue with you being sexist. I do have an issue with you claiming you are not.


          • If we read the same book we see the same words but we make different interpretations of the content. If we look at a painting we see the same picture but we see different detail. Listen to a piece of music etc. etc.
            I look forward to reading your response on the day that your adoring fans dare to disagree with you!


  6. Totty says:

    There has been discussion over the last few days on a local forum about this area of Spanish Law; the OP lives overlooking a barranco/path that leads down to the local nudist beach. For the past three weeks, the same nude man has been positioning himself in front of her home, for a couple of hours at a time, “pleasuring himself” as she put it. She called out the GC, who came, watched with interest for a few minutes, then informed her that under the law, there was nothing they could do unless he climbed up the steps and came through the gate into her property. She asked the forum for suggestions to deter him; these have ranged from air rifles and catapults to water hoses (more than welcome in this heat I would think) and buckets of pee, but as most of these would open her to prosecution, she feels she has to settle for not inviting her guests to sit out on the patio!


    • I can imagine the GC watching with mild interest, one of their more enjoyable jobs?

      Water hose would have been my immediate response, as you do with randy dogs.

      I didn’t mind it, he didn’t do any harm, but nudism is one thing, masturbation in public is a bit over the top. Turn the other cheek, I guess.


  7. Vicky says:

    I popped into my town centre a couple of days ago, bearing in mind that this centre is an air conditioned indoor shopping centre, about as far away from any UK coast as possible. The local chavs were wandering around in attire more suited to the beach or pool.

    Your topless sunbathing incident reminds me of a similar one I had while in France a few years ago, my reaction was exactly the same too.

    Just reading through your jewellery list made me smile.
    My wedding ring is not on my finger either, but I went a step further though, after damaging my knuckle I had to have it cut off.


    • I hate air-conditioning. On my top ten list of hates. Used to go to work in Sydney wearing appropriate clothes for the weather and entering offices, I wished I’d dressed for winter. You do have a lot of chavs your way 😀

      What was funny was, I don’t get offended, just leave me alone, thank you. I can do this, but it doesn’t mean you have any right to speak to me. Let alone anything else.

      Ouch to the knuckle damage. I only started it wearing again when I started travelling back to the UK to see my mum (and dad once and his funeral). Not that it made any difference. Shitheads still try and pick you up if they are desperate, a wedding ring deters no-one.


  8. mushtaqtariq says:

    mankind wears clothes for two purposes (i) to hide shame (ii) for beauty. It is shame whihc prevents you from evil doing, it is shame which is a restriction, a social restriction. If shame is lost, man becomes animal …after all animals also go around nude.. there should be some difference between animals and mankind.


    • I have to totally disagree with that. We come from very different points of view, you are religious and I am not.

      Why is there any shame about my body? Or anyone else’s? I think not. And I see nothing wrong for people to walk around naked in an agreed area of space eg a nudist beach, camp site, whatever.

      Shame, to paraphrase another blogger, is in the eye of the beholder. Is that why women have to wear clothes from head to toe in some Muslim countries? because to see them is shameful? because men can’t look at women without thinking about sex? and that is the fault of the women. No. It is not. It is the fault of a disgraceful patriarchal society that supports the subjugation of women and sees them as sex objects.

      Shame doesn’t prevent you from evil doing at all. A responsible and respectful attitude and behaviour may possibly do so.

      Are clothes for beauty? No, to me they are for practicality. To keep warm in a cold place, to keep the sun off me in a hot one. To keep my keys and money in my pocket. No more, no less.

      And quite frankly, the comparison between animals and people is laughable. Apart from the fact that animals are beautiful creatures, they would struggle to be half as wicked, hateful, and greedy as some people.

      Next point?


      • mushtaqtariq says:

        Scientific laws are acceptable to all humankind irrespective of faith, sex, belief etc. because definition of basic terms and scientific laws is same in whole scientific world. This doe not fit on Theology, ethics etc. i.e. Definition of terms and rules vary from group to group, from person to Person. Take Example; Whole scientific society agrees on definition of “Current” measured in Amperes; but whole mankind will not agree on definition of term “God”. … Therefore, It is not possible in this field that you build such fantastic excellent argument and everyone may agree with them 100% as one agrees with scientific laws.
        Let’s revisit your argument by defining ‘terms’.
        Shame=my definition=Hesitation or restriction from evil doing (evil is not restricted to sex only)
        Shame=your definition=Hesitation or restriction on performing sex in non agreed area of space.

        You wrote A responsible and respectful attitude and behavior may restrict from evil doing. I agree with that. Then what is difference between us? Difference is in “Definition” of terms that I pointed above.
        Next point?


  9. Andrew says:

    I decided it was safest not to comment on this post. Some I didn’t understand. I think I must be getting old. I read it three times – it was only on the third read I realised what VEOW stood for. I don’t think I’ve ever met her.


    • You sound like Blu (on the move). Discrete and not wishing to make waves.

      You didn’t understand that we are all judged on appearances, and that women should dress sexily? !! Come on. I don’t take you for stupid. In fact, I could just have written a one-liner. And that would have been it. Women are pressurised into dressing/undressing for men. Little more to say. I padded it out a bit.

      To me, it’s an important issue. But I think I’ll go and check on one of my Land Rovers instead of repeating the same old arguments. If you really want to know about clothes, women, sexism blah di blah, mail me. Otherwise no, you’re not old, just not your area. A bit like investing in gold isn’t mine. To each our own although I wish I knew more about old than feminism. I mean gold. I know too much about old.


  10. vivianprieto says:

    Yes yes yes. Thank you for writing this. Refreshing and TRUE. Feminist rants feel very good!



    • Thanks Vivian, for the comment, visit, and follow. I could probably turn most posts into a feminist rant, but clothes in particular merit one.

      I think I was at university when I worked out that women’s clothes cost far more than men’s and weren’t as well made. I promptly bought a jacket from the shop that supplied the local boys’ school (I had a slim figure anyway). Thirty years later the same principle applies. Better quality clothing, more practical, more comfortable. Partner and I share T- shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, and when I go to work with him, I wear his overalls and jackets too.

      I don’t need to be validated as a sex object by what I wear. (or even at all)


  11. I admire your & Partner’s sense of adventure. Though I love to travel and want to see the world my eggs are all permanently stashes in my native Oregon state. I can’t bare the thought of living else where again (did twice in my life)

    Sparse clothing.. I remember when I was little.. I mean little as in small barely 95 pounds (don’t do stones) I wore man’s large handkerchiefs as halter tops with jean cut-off shorts. but as I said I was small and small everywhere.
    Also have no issue with nudity. Been a regular visitor of the unadvertised location for nude bathing on the water in Oregon. For about 20 yr a close group of friends & I gathered once a month to play poker, hot tub & sauna. Attire was optional.But I was well-covered anyway as my hair has been long enough to sit on my entire adult life.

    My town also a resort town with a white water river running through its downtown is filled with people showing a lot of skin, carrying their float devices; inner-tubes, canoes, kayaks, etc.. across the roads stopping traffic.
    Seeing someone in a fine dining establishment in her bikini with only a skirt covering is common place.

    Touched on the jewelry thing in a prior comment. ~


    • I’m not sure whether it is a sense of adventure or a fear of decaying in the same place for the last half of my life, that’s assuming of course that I live to 80. I’m sure if I had lived in the same boring place all my life I would have lived to 100.

      A Spanish hombre once said to me that ‘the British are nomads’. I think to some extent that is a fair generalisation, but it’s not for everyone whatever their nationality. I can think of a handful of Brit ex-pat blogs I read, but there are also a couple of American ones. I’m not sure we’ll be moving anywhere else in a hurry.

      Ninety five pounds is tiny indeed. Just over six and a half stone. I’ve always been low weight around eight and a half stone, currently somewhere over nine, but I’m also tall.

      That poker game sounds great. Actually the water sounds great and the poker is a good add on extra. We play from time to time, although not well. I have a bag of silver threepences inherited from somewhere and we play for those. I share them out at the beginning of the game, and when one of us has lost all our money, they go back into the bag or we start again. Adds the element of playing for money without doing it in reality.

      The main reason I am rarely skimpily dressed is thinking about my skin in old age. Talking with our neighbours about a British woman who spent all her time sunbathing on a boat, Adelina said ‘she has elephant skin’. Adelina is white, ivory in fact!

      I think there are different societal norms in resorts. But while you see women walking around in a bikini in our Spanish town, you wouldn’t see it in Gib, which isn’t primarily a resort. There isn’t the same beach culture, where you spend all day on there, and maybe come off to buy something or visit a restaurant. And then go back to the beach.


  12. I’m sitting under my umbrella tree wearing a t-shirt and a pair of Adidas shorts. OH, who does not mind the sun, is lying on a sunbed. She just looked over at me and shook her head. She judged me. It’s the long black socks and my black shoes. To say they don’t match would be an understatement. I don’t care. It’s around 30 C here and very humid. I plan on not moving for a while and that includes bending down and taking the socks and shoes off.
    On a slightly more serious note: skimpily-clad women who choose to talk to me totally intimidate me. Me–I’m a polite Canadian–trying hard to act like everything’s normal and so looking away. I wouldn’t not even bother trying to analyze it 🙂 Up-tight, self-conscious, inadequate, awkward. I imagine there are other descriptors that can be layered in too.


    • Oooh, your Rock is warmer than ours! We’ve not hit 30 according to my computer widget but it’s pretty warm. Too warm to sit in the frontier queue for six hours! which is the current tally (post to follow on that).

      I have a photo of Partner on the beach in Spain well in the 30s. The temp not him. Complete with Tilley hat and T shirt.

      I think the analysis is difficult. I think the nudist beach is fine, but even then, I don’t particularly want to stare at people. I’m fine with wandering around with little clothing but I accept that other people may not like it, just as I don’t really want to see people with minimum clothing in the high street, on the bus, in the city.

      I didn’t answer the door to the flat today because someone knocked when I only had on sleepwear, ie extremely short shorts and very low cut top. Great for bed. Not good for my neighbours (well, depending on their point of view). Turned out to be my neighbour over the landing who I’ve seen in boxers and her in jim-jams. But it could have been the strictly Jewish family upstairs who parade around in more clothes than you can poke a stick at. We’d all have been embarrassed. This is women wearing hats, sleeves, skirts down to the ankle, they might as well be wearing a burqa. Ironic the religious disagreements and their similarities. I digress. Although maybe not regarding women’s clothing.

      wouldn’t not even bother?

      what sort of triple negative is that one then? 😀


  13. Totty says:

    Good rally there Maurice; I was on the edge of my seat!


  14. Hey the award did slide right into this post nicely. So much nice stuff here today.
    We live in a resort-ish area, too with lots of odd outfits/lack of coverage during the summer. The very young thin girls can carry it off, but there’s so many overweight bulging bodies we’d rather not see. Most restaurants/bars have some sort of a “dress code”. Board shorts are popular here since they are so easy to pull on over suits. Lake Travis in Austin area has a famous nudist beach – but not many others “officially” around – sailboats, though are a different cancer not a worry for some. In S. TX beaches body image isn’t such a big deal – all sizes and shapes – and very comfortable about it. Much more relaxed and realistic view of life that way….and the board shorts for quick cover up
    When traveling, I found it best to dress conservatively – especially if you don’t speak the language well and may want to ask for some assistance. (Great observation about the well covered Jewish family)
    You are right about this being the time of year to shop – stuff we can wear almost until Christmas is on sale,


    • I used to be interested in clothes from a design point of view, hence making my own, plus having to look smart for work. But I’ve never particularly bought into the latest fashion apart from when hotpants came out when I was aged not very old. Early teens maybe?

      I don’t usually swim in a bikini as it’s too irritating when they fall off or down or whatever, a swimsuit is much easier and feels more streamlined. So on the rare occasion I go down for a swim half my time is spent changing my wardrobe, and I usually walk back with one of those long parea things and a long sleeved shirt or T-shirt, that’s a sun protection rationale rather than a modesty one though.

      All shapes and sizes on our beaches too, which I think is OK. It’s the all shapes and sizes with minimal clothing in cities that I think is debatable. I made a few trips back to the UK some years ago. The first time I dressed casually, and took a rucksack. The next time I smartened up and took a small travel bag. ‘Hello Madam, can I help you?’ ‘Hello Madam, I’m sorry for the delay.’

      All the Jewish families here are well covered up. Don’t think I’ve seen men or women in shorts and women with a skirt above knee length. Oh and they don’t wear vests or T shirts. Always smart.

      All the shorts will be gone by autumn, we know we’ve tried to buy them before, so see them and buy them. The last dregs will be in the sale and it will be the usual story XXXXS or XXXXL. But as he wears them all year round, and nobody seems to give us them, occasionally we have to buy them. Thanks for dressing up.


      • fashion was interesting when everyone looked towards the Paris fashion shows and rushed back with latest news. Existing clothes were updated/restyled.(Things were made better then – and investment purchasing meant keeping things for a long time) Fabrics and patterns were bought by my mom who really could sew well.
        Mass marketing probably did that in. Cheap clothes designed to be the latest trend, and toss away at the end of the season (which was Ok as they didn’t hold up that well)
        I’ve actually gone to swim team type tank suits – they stay put – wrap a long skirt and you can get in just about anywhere.
        Back to school sales shoving everything else out the door…sweaters will be showing up in Sept…despite the 100 degree temps.


        • Oh I remember getting excited about Paris fashion shows, and London Fashion Week as well.

          Back at home we had a local arts college with a fashion course. After the annual fashion show they would sell off the clothes. A lot of them had been made with donations by local firms (it was a textile area with a lot of mills). I bought a beautiful cream cashmere frock, very simple, beautifully made, and in a very small size so I figure it was left because no-one could get into it. I snapped it up. It was cheap as well, unique and designer made – whoever the designer may have been – they should have put labels inside their creations.

          I must have had that dress for 30 years and finally realised I was never going to get into it again, so off to the recycler it went. I’ve still got clothes that are more than 20 years old and some knitted items that either I or my mum made which are 30/40 years + so no need for me to be buying sweaters.

          They come in handy on chilly mornings as we don’t have heating in either place.


          • Fashion and Couture – hardly hold any meaning now?
            I remember being very small and every fall getting dressed up and riding downtown to one of the most expensive department stores in town. (We always wore white gloves and I was so afraid of getting dirt on them from the bus). Every fall my mother would make reservations for lunch during which they would have the newest fashions strutted down the runway. She would make notes on colors, details, collars, sleeves, hems,and silhouettes. I’m sure I was a great disappointment with my desire to sit and play in the dirt.
            The fashion compulsion seems silly, but miss the elegance and style that seemed to blend into society at times. Would be nice if it was an option rather than obsolete/archaic. Have a great weekend – out to play in the dirt now.


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