So sad me

For those of you wishing for a very Cloudy Rough Seas Extremely Turbulent blog post, I thought I would sneak in a quick one.

Discretion applies.

A new person commenting on roughseas in fact.

On my International Women’s Day post. Because ya know, it’s all about Hollywood.

I left a rather civilised reply over there, but on here, I think I should be more honest.

Here is the said comment, for anyone who hasn’t read it on roughseas, as it was a later one in the scheme of things.

“You sound so terribly sad. Thank God, we are not all alike. There are many poor women who are happy, and don’t want to be “equal.” That’s such a broad word. I’ve been rich and poor, and I’m happy not to have so much, as I think what I have is just enough. I’ve been married three times, and miss the good parts, but life is easier alone. I’m sorry your generation is so mixed up. And, people’s ideas of “success,” is really varied. Unfortunately, TV and the media, especially Hollywood has made American women into ridiculous beings who want to be men and can’t stand it, yet do not get a sex change. No wonder our men go elsewhere.”

Here, for once, is what I considered to be my polite reply, to which I have not yet had a response, but hey, I guess she is busy on FaceBook posting pictures of her Bichon Frisé.

Thanks for your comment JoAnne.
• I’m not sure whether you are referring to Melody or me, but yes, I am certainly sad on behalf of the many women in the world who have an extremely difficult life.
• If you have backread my blog(s), you will have noticed that there is a common theme of lack of consumerism and glossy consumption with which many of my readers agree. That hardly equates to being poor and struggling to survive in a developing country.
• If you clicked on the link to last year’s IWD, I focused on women who were illiterate, poor, suffered domestic violence at home, and rape as a result of civil wars. I also mentioned that women are not achieving anywhere near the same levels as men in powerful positions in western societies. Whichever way you look, there is no equality.
• I can’t comment about being married so many times, as I am still on my first marriage after 28 years, so I’ll take your word for life being easier alone.
• Nor can I comment on my generation being mixed up. Most of the people I write to and read about on the internet are not a dissimilar age. We’re in our fifties and were born in the fifties. Where does that put you?
• I’m really not sure what television, the media, Hollywood and American women have to do with International Women’s Day? Perhaps you can tell me. I’d also like to know about women who want to be men and can’t get a sex change. That sounds like a gender issue to me rather than equality. The two are not the same.
• Bad luck about your men. Sorry to hear that.

Now, here is the real response. At what point in my post about International Womens’ Day did I mention:
a) television/media
b) Hollywood
or
c) American women?

That was a totally crass and imbecilic comment on a very serious issue. I gave my link back to the previous year’s post where I quoted statistics about why there is no equality at all.

Every other single person who commented had something of value to say.

Pulling down issues such as rape, murder, and violence to the level of Hollywood and, sic, ‘our men going elsewhere’ is beyond belief. Or maybe it isn’t.

It encapsulates the narrow-minded, shallow thinking that serves for our current so-called society.

Women shouldn’t ‘compete’ with men, or, we’ll scare them off? Really?

That would be so right, that men don’t even comment on my blogs (me being an exceptionally obnoxious woman). Oh wait, they do. And, even worse, I have been known to disagree with them. Lawd have mercy on me for my bad ways.

To be serious, International Women’s Day seems to have become a gimmick which is a genuine shame on humanity. My post on roughseas reflected my frustration (and was shared by commenters) and the link to my previous post, from the year before, shared some alarming and horrific statistics.

I can’t think of a better description (although I loathe it) than dumbing down, and to drag in Hollywood and glamour and losing men, is just totally missing the point when women are being murdered, raped and attacked every day of their lives.

I looked up the ID of my new commenter, as you do. No blog but a FaceBook profile. Ah yes, a Texican. With a – bought – Bichon Frisé. Feel the hackles rising here on the cloudy roughseas?

Likes on FB of the new person? The National Pro-Life. (That means anti-abortion by the way). God Bless You. Conservative.

At which point I wondered how the hell she found my blog.

But wait, what else do we have? Well, apparently we love the new homophobic racist Argentinian pope. Hurrah for Francis 1. Who doesn’t approve of gays or the Falklands. Or anything really as he is a staunch jesuit. Bring back the Auto da Fé.

What else does my new commenter support? Senator Paul Rand, or is that Rand Paul (who knows really) who has proposed the life at conception act.

So good when men tell you what to do with your own body based on some totally vacuous religious crap.

I really wanted to tell this woman to fuck off, because she was not getting the plot. But I did nice. Or so I thought.

I was even nice about the fact she had three marriages (OK I did snigger at that one), but I really wondered what my generational problems were?

Getting on, making some money, stashing away a bit of education, and later taking time to think and care about other people and animals (not necessarily pedigree Bichon Frisé) has been my life. The only time I interfere in someone else’s life is to give them money, ie to homeless people, or to animal charities.

So please, JoAnne, Francis 1 and Rand Paul, take your crazy ideas about abortion and anti-gays right out of it. Some of us would like to live our lives without your interference.

And back to the original point, just sort out all the rape, murder, domestic violence, poverty, lack of education, oh wait – women are just around to bear children, yes?

What do I care? Woman with no kids, one marriage and no pedigree dogs. Who would want to be me?

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About roughseasinthemed

I write about my life as an English person living in Spain and Gibraltar, on Roughseas, subjects range from politics and current developments in Gib to book reviews, cooking and getting on with life. My views and thoughts on a variety of topics - depending on my mood of the day - can be found over on Clouds. A few pix are over on Everypic - although it is not a photoblog. And of course my dog had his own blog, but most of you knew that anyway. Pippadogblog etc
This entry was posted in animal rights, consumerism, feminism, life, musings, thoughts and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to So sad me

  1. Interesting rant – I enjoyed it! BTW I know when International Women’s Day is but do you know when International Men’s day is?

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  2. I think I will come in obliquely as if I don’t, unfortunately, we will have nothing much to argue about or otherwise discuss. I am somehow reminded of the various times when it was my job to either effect change or bear some unwanted news (same thing I guess). I’d start the proceedings the best I knew how: do my homework and learn as much as I could about all sides of the issues, craft a response then (the important bit) run the response by the most insightful and honest people I knew, make the necessary changes and then, finally, present the news or change as respectfully as I could while trying to deal honestly with the objections or unanticipated issues.
    It generally worked. AND…during the process I could nearly always count on the support of many of the people anyway. In some cases the people simply already believed in what was proposed, in other cases they easily saw the justification and, admittedly, at times their support was out of a sense of personal loyalty, Doubtless those people had a lot to do with the successes I had.
    Now: Recall that I mentioned that one of the key things I have always done was to run my ideas past some people. Well, the two groups ARE DEFINITELY NOT the same. Those people who were quick to go along with my suggestions were, in fact THE LAST people I would want to run my ideas by. The fact that they could be so easily changed really said very little about the quality of the solutions I was bringing forward. No, the people of real value were the ones who would look through what I had and go right after the weaknesses and, hopefully, have enough respect for me to actually share their views. In the end, they had a positive effect. Some of my more dumbass ideas were stopped long before any damage could be done, thanks to them.
    So what does this have to do with your post? Everything. The names and the causes you cited above were likely not accepted on any logical, rational basis. It’s far more likely that acceptance was gained either because there was some common third party that both were affiliated with or, perhaps, a silly sell job was used; it’s easy to exploit a bunch of weaknesses when people let you.
    Which brings us back to what I see as the most valuable point in your post: people need to be a lot more reflective of themselves, their core values and their subsequent actions. Following the crowd leads people to places they really should not go.
    Holy crap–my comment is almost as long as your post!

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    • Well, you could always have said, good post, I agree, but that is hardly your style.

      I thought your oblique comment was interesting however and made me reflect on my early report/paper/analysis writing days for our health authority.

      Naturally, I knew that what I wrote was correct and it didn’t need 20 people to poke holes in it either for content or style. I’m actually serious about that, at one point the chief exec called me the organisational writer and I went ballistic at the idea of having to re-write everyone else’s work who got paid more than me. Whereupon, I stopped proofing their papers and let them go through complete with errors 🙂 Before that, they were getting sent back to be re-written because they were so poor.

      But later, I did learn the value of getting buy-in, and did start to circulate work to people for views, comments etc. Not that I paid much attention to them, but the odd couple did sometimes have a few sensible additions to make, I can think of probably about three people. Another colleague put a paper to our board including data on cervical screening as part of performance management. But it was wrong. She hadn’t bothered asking me (screening was one of my responsibilities), just taken some inaccurate stats from the IT people and churned it out. And did anyone care? No. Makes a mockery of performance management though, to use inaccurate stats and no-one is bothered.

      We had a terribly competitive level of assistant directors, ie second level down in the organisation. They kept bleating on about how we needed good PR, which was a huge dig at me, as I had stopped doing it and the theory was that each person was responsible for it, which is actually quite a sensible if unachieveable theory. I wrote a paper for our fractious little management group (took me no time at all as it was easy as pie), giving them the options, and telling them what good PR involved. I didn’t have a strong view about what they decided, and I had been absolutely honest in my paper. I could guess the outcome though, because the best way to manage PR would have involved all of them, and made work for them. They decided PR wasn’t such a priority after all.

      Still on the concept of papers and ideas, one of my executive directors came out with an interesting comment, saying that I thought too fast and needed to give people time to catch up. I don’t know whether that was a polite way of saying I needed to do more arse-sucking or whether he was being honest. As he was pretty straight, I suspect it was the latter.

      Oddly enough, I have learned to do the sucky business these days. At a meeting a while ago, someone said to me ‘you were very good mates with such and such.’ Well, of course I was, it was a meeting, and I wanted to get things approved.

      What’s this got to do with your response and my post? To paraphrase you. There are people you can work with, people you may be lucky to influence, and total no-hopers. And I know when I see blatant promotion of yet another new bigoted pope (like why do people say every single choice of pope is wonderful? they might as well put a stuffed parrot up), Catholicism, anti-abortion, republicanism, anti Obama and Clinton statements, I guess I’m not going to make much headway. Some battles you can’t win. And to be fair, I’m not going to change my points of view. The big difference is, that my points of view don’t affect anyone else. I’m not trying to push my (feminist, vegetarian, environmental, socialist blah blah) values onto anyone else. Which picks up your point about following the crowd or choosing your own values.

      I did however find it insulting, both personally and to my readers/commenters, to describe me as sad. What on earth is sad about wanting a better life for people who suffer violence and poverty? What is sad about wanting people to be treated as just that, without discrimination according to race, colour of skin, gender, education, wealth …. It may be idealistic, but someone needs to strive for it. However that ideal is worlds apart from Hollywood and women who want to be men and don’t get a sex change. That comment just left me open-mouthed. It would take a millennium (on a good day) to even get half of what I was trying to express into a mind that comes out with a comment like that.

      And she shot herself in the foot anyway with the three marriages comment and men going elsewhere 😀

      I suspect this is longer than your comment, and deliberately so.

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  3. EllaDee says:

    I’m late reading and commenting as I sometimes am, but from now on I’m definitely giving commenting space to your posts before I read and add my bit 😉 I had to go back and read the comment myself… and although I hate the things my reaction was OMG LOL!!! I’m thinking the commenter has IWD confused with Mother’s Day… See, I did predict the saccharin-ness with which IWD has begun to be treated will lead to Hallmark platitudes… Now I’m going to add Big Co platitudes… “would you like a gender reassignment with that?” Yes, Thank God, we are not all alike is the one sane remark I could take from it.

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    • I think the comments are the best part of my blogs. Even the totally off the wall ones. People really add such thoughtful comments, but they take some reading, which is why I try to post something new once the count gets to 30+, I don’t want people to think, Oh, no, far too many comments to wade through (which is my reaction when I see mega numbers of comment on blogs).

      But I just loved the total disconnection with that comment, it really merited a separate post. I’m sad? My generation has problems? Equality for women is about Hollywood/media/gender surgery? Just UH???? And then, I so wondered about the ‘our men leave us comment’. Why did they leave her, or did she leave them? The mind just boggles.

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  4. Vicky says:

    There is a big difference between the women that I assume JoAnne is talking about and the women who have no choice or say in their lives.
    If a woman chooses to live a subordinate life, and she is happy with that life, who are we to say otherwise.
    The women who are oppressed through fear, or because they know no difference are the ones who need to be shown they have a choice and should be helped to make that choice.

    Her comment on generation, I can only think is from the era when most women were expected to stay at home and be a good housewife, which I will admit the school I went to guided us in that direction. It was only the intelligent who passed their 11+ exam that were groomed for higher things.

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    • To be blunt Vicky, I don’t think she knows her arse from her elbow. Women’s equality, discrimination based on gender, and violence and murder have just stuff all to do with life as portrayed on a big screen. They are not the same issues, which is your point. But it doesn’t take too much intelligence to work that one out – or does it?

      Surprisingly I don’t have a problem with women wanting to lead a subordinate life, although hardly me or you. Perhaps subordinate isn’t the right word, I mean, women who want to stay at home, cook and have kids. I’m certainly happy with the first two there, and substitute dogs for kids 😀 My only issue is whether or not it is through choice, or even informed choice. If you don’t know there is a choice, you aren’t exactly making one.

      I was puzzled about the generation comment. Looking at her FaceBook profile, she didn’t look a dissimilar age to me. Or do I look older or younger than my age? I got the impression that she thought I was younger than I was and trying to save the world (or at least the animals in it), and rebelling against society. Which is what younger people do, except I have done it in my later years.

      11+ !! I don’t think I ever took it actually. Just the entrance exam for the senior school and we were all expected to get in, apart from two or three out of 24. I also took a little test in the head teacher’s study one day which later turned out to be an exam to award a free place/bursary from the school governors to me and another girl. Not sure I was ever groomed for higher things. In fact, I still rarely brush my hair.

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  5. awe ms.. I so do love your honesty. Should you ever hear from said “Facebook Follower”- ,should she find her courage where the sun does not shine, will you share please?
    I’d love to witness this dressing down. You are so wonderfully refreshing!

    Oh.. and by the by.. Touché on your Women’s day tribute yet again. We should be blessed to have more women like you who have the fortitude to say exactly what you mean. And to walk the talk.

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    • I’ve never heard from the woman before in my life, so I thought it would be polite and respectful (not that she wants to respect any of my rights, but that’s another matter) to give a courteous reply to her comment on roughseas.

      A few obvious ones did run through my mind, but I decided to go with the moral high ground for once. Not that it would have sunk in.

      But as I have a rather more exclusive readership over here, most of, if not all of, also read roughseas, I figured I could add my other points of view that I didn’t publish over there.

      I doubt she will have read my reply as, with not having a blog, she won’t get those cute little pop-up notifications that someone has replied to her. Which seriously makes me wonder how she found my blog. Did someone else with a blog see it, not comment, but passed on the link? Who knows? Was she just trolling around writing on blogs about something she disagreed with? Because the reverse equivalent would be me looking for blogs about hairstyles and make-up, baking cakes, having 20 screaming kids, and going to church every day – for example. Most of us don’t normally write on a blog in which we have no common interest unless we love the style, maybe the photos, or like to read about something totally different.

      Of all the people who comment on my blogs, there is, as far as I can think, something shared with each one. Whether it is music, photography, living abroad, sense of humour, shared values, or just enjoyment for whatever reason – there is something that makes us all go back to a blog more than once. And I usually read a few posts at least, plus obv the About Me page, before I actually write a comment. When there are backlinks, I read those, because clearly they are relevant to the post, and I don’t want to be shooting myself in the foot.

      Last year, a lot of my regular readers did read and comment on IWD, so there wasn’t much point repeating that for them, so I included the link in case anyone wanted to read some depressing statistics. Although looking back, my readership has changed quite a lot since then! It’s nice to see the ones who are around 12 months later on. I digress. I am philosophising about blogs now.

      As for being honest, well, yes. I’m too old not to be. But there are two sides to everything, and my two responses – the polite one on roughseas, and the more caustic one on here – are both equally honest. However, in society, we don’t normally take an aggressive and critical stance to someone we have only just met. Even if what they have said is idiotic. Same applies on the internet (usually).

      The reason I wrote something about it on here, was because I actually wanted to highlight the comment, and my response, because in a way, the totally irrelevant comment does exemplify why women have problems in the world. My only reference to women’s appearance was at the beginning where I compared it to judging dogs on their appearance at Crufts Dog show (UK, the big one), and I was being extremely sarcastic, which obviously regular readers recognised although I don’t think you would need to be a regular reader to recognise sarcasm. Had I written about Hollywood, TV, media, transgender issues, and how to hang onto your man, her comment might have had some relevancy.

      Every other commenter managed to grasp the issues (not all regular Clouds readers by the way, although some dip in from time to time) and added thoughtful, intelligent and articulate comments for discussion.

      So a comment that compared women wanting to be men, and men leaving women (ie the women aren’t doing the right things to keep their men etc etc) with rape, murder, violence, and continued discrimination in the workplace whether overt or covert is just crass and unhelpful to women who do consider there are problems for women both locally and globally. It’s back to the old argument that ‘this woman doesn’t think there is a problem, so therefore there isn’t one.’

      Sorry. I’ve made another blog post out of my reply to you!

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  6. bluonthemove says:

    I couldn’t believe her comment about how ‘terribly sad you sound’. My assumption, based on some knowledge, is that with one minor change (interesting appropriately paid job) you’d be one of the happiest people I know.

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    • That’s a fair comment. I am pretty happy with life, but that’s probably because it’s what I’ve chosen to do with it. Not so much the job I need as the money, don’t really have time to work in paid employment for someone else. I should really do something about getting some freelance work, but I never seem to have time for that either!

      I do think describing someone as sad on your first comment on their blog is making a rather large assumption. And patronising in the extreme, as was the comment about my mixed-up generation. Given that I’m a late baby-boom generation (rather than the first wave) I would have thought my generation is extremely un-mixed up and not remotely sad.

      But really, who suddenly jumps onto someone’s blog from nowhere and starts coming out with personal comments like that?

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      • bluonthemove says:

        I don’t think our generation are anything like as mixed up as those before or after us. Imagine being a 5 yr old during the London bombing and then being shifted off to live with strangers in the country.

        We couldn’t be consumerist, the 5 yr old in the 60s didn’t have that much to choose from, Scalextric was just coming in and thats as good as it got. Compare with a 5 yr old in the boom time of the early 2000s, a new game console every year instead of time with parents.

        Generalisations of course, lots of people couldn’t afford things like Scalextric then or game consoles today, I just think the children growing up during late 50s to early 70s are as adults as sane as they come and in the main happier too.

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        • Yes, I think the war generations were pretty screwed up, although not their fault at all.

          My mother had some odd war stories, about avoiding a local bombing when she walked home, but her age and the years didn’t tally. I’m sure it happened (well the local bombing certainly did) but strange that she imagined her age to be younger. She thought she was 12, but would have had to be at least 15 and maybe 20 at the outside.

          I think the war and the subsequent fear of communism also skewed my parents’ generation views of politics. They saw another world war on the horizon at every opportunity eg invasion of Czechoslovakia.

          Only ever saw Scalextric at the boys grammar school when I was young although later generations did have their own. Rich bastards!

          I had lego. Lots of it. And a girder and panel building set. And a chemistry set. And a nurse’s outfit although I didn’t really know what to do with that apart from stand there in it. I also had trees to climb. And a swing. And a slide. God, I was deprived I had to play outside. Oh, and jigsaws. I loved (still do) jigsaw puzzles.

          Anyway our generation must be happy because we are latish babyboomers, and it is our fault the younger ones have no money 😀 (Their fault my pension age has been increased).

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  7. So, as promised, I went out for a stroll and while out had a decent listen to an interview of Kevin Kling (http://www.kevinkling.com/). In the piece, Kevin noted several times how he’d faced serious adversity and how quite often now he feels like he’s walking with one foot in the real world and one foot in the underworld! Even more interestingly he went on to note the difference between curing and healing; how the scars that we thought were gone can sometimes come back when we least expect them to and how, sometimes, we encounter things that simply cannot heal and so, instead we have to alter the narratives of our lives to make some sense of what we’ve been through. Talk about striking a chord–for me, not you, I mean! It’s so refreshing, sometimes, to find that the thoughts of others are resonating with your own. Right now it’s just an indication of the contents of my thoughts. But there’s more. This bit actually started over on rough seas and my hands just started typing. After a while I realized this needed to be moved to clouds instead. Open page . Okay. Walk the rough seas post-clock back by one, to one single comment. You know the one. Now walk back. Your old self is back, but … healed? Thoughtless stupid words hurt but resilience has cut in and you’ve moved on, and it’s for the better. The comment was bullshit anyway.

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    • Anyway I’ve done it. No, they didn’t hurt they annoyed me, because they weren’t looking outside their own shoebox. But after ten years of distance learning in Newfoundland I need a nap!

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  8. angryricky says:

    I knew there was a reason I’ve given up reading other people’s comments. Congratulations on your 28 years–that’s no mean feat. And just to clear things up, I’m an American man who recently left the country, but it wasn’t because I think women are excessively masculine. It’s because I can’t find a job in the United States. I guess you could argue that there would be more jobs available to me if fewer women were working, but that would be true of any demographic, and no one is asking Jews or Hispanics or any other traditionally oppressed group to quit working so that me and the other white men can get “our” jobs back.

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    • Aw come on, she was a one-off. Most of my commenters are intelligent thinking people, even if they don’t agree with me. They often don’t. But the off the wall ones are also worth a read, if only for a laugh.

      Thanks. 28 years, well it would be too hard to change these days. I have a friend who clocked up 40 this year, now that is impressive. But, I gave my word to stay with someone and all that sort of crap, so unless there was any violence/abuse I’ll stick with it. Either way I wouldn’t get divorced or marry someone else, just separate.

      I remember reading about your job issues. But isn’t the US like everywhere else? There just aren’t enough jobs.

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      • angryricky says:

        I gave my word too, but she chucked it all up when I told her I’m gay. For my age group, eight years in a first marriage is unusually long, which is rather sad to me.

        I got out of the habit of reading other comments before I started reading here. Of the two blogs I first started reading frequently, The Pink Agendist’s commenters often irritate me in the way they match his heartfelt, well-reasoned posts with vapidity, and then there have recently been so many of them that they just end up repeating each other. Many of Colin’s commenters are patronizing and don’t understand what he’s saying–he and I identify rather strongly with each other, and I kept getting furious at what people were saying to him, so I decided I’d be better off ignoring them.

        And sometimes I feel as if I’m eavesdropping on people, which is quite rude–like the conversation has been going on without my having received an invitation to it. I expect people to blink quickly in a shocked sort of way when I interrupt with my comment, and then to continue talking as if I didn’t exist.

        Jobs are scarce in most places these days, and that’s a condition that leads people to travel to look for better conditions in other places, whether that’s moving to a different city, state, country, or continent. I only addressed the United States specifically because the original commenter seemed to imagine there was a massive masculine exodus from the country. One of my Brazilian friends says that he’s stuck in a deadend administrative assistant position, but he’s afraid to quit because there aren’t any decent jobs that he’s qualified for, and Brazil has one of the strongest economies in the world.

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        • I can’t imagine having a problem if my partner told me he was gay, but easy to say I suppose when it hasn’t happened. I never would have done but after all this time, I doubt he is. He’d still be my friend, my partner, whatever he wanted to be.

          My university peers are all in the same marriage loop as me. Nearly 30 years. Worked with a journalist once in the government press office, and he’d lived with his woman for a few years. Got married and it didn’t last six months.

          Laughing. Pink does get some suck arse comments doesn’t he? One of the many reasons I’ve stopped commenting. Dahling what a lovely house you have. You are so rich and I love you to bits. But maybe that’s down to what he writes? Who ever comments on a serious re-blog or link to a news item? which he does from time to time. I posted one about Obama’s war policy -no comments. His gay posts will attract the usual audience. His dining and décor posts receive more comments. Shame.

          I like Colin’s blog too, he writes well, but I do feel excluded so leave it alone mostly but I didn’t notice any patronising comments when I have visited.

          One of the aspects about my blogs that I like is that people will comment on someone else’s comment. That’s fine by me. I’d like people to be comfortable with me on my blog and in real life, OK maybe less so with that one. The only issue, is that it can sound cliquey, which is the point you are making I think. It’s inevitable that some of the people reading blogs will read the same ones, so it’s going to lead to an atmosphere of informality and people who know at least one other visitor to the blog.

          On other blogs I do read the comments, there can be some good ones, and if they are the meanigless sort you referred to I tend to scroll down and ignore them. I also have a cut off point, so if a blog has more than 40 or 50 comments, I tend not to bother commenting. It’s also why I try and write a new post if I think the comment total is getting high. It’s all right having 30 or 40, ‘super post darling’ comments, but when people take time to write thoughtful comments, it can be a lot to read through. And I appreciate them doing it, so then there is my reply to wade through as well. If I wrote a comment the length of yours above, for example, I’d be pretty racked off if the only acknowledgement I received was ‘Thanks for that Ricky.’

          Your comment about the US economy and job situation was totally valid. In the UK, I moved around the country in search of a better job. You’ve moved abroad as do many people (my partner included) to find work. I couldn’t work out whether she was referring to men leaving America because of the women, or whether she was talking about men leaving the women within a relationship because they don’t conform to a prehistoric sexual stereotype.

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  9. angryricky says:

    Ha ha. I do get long winded, so I don’t expect everyone to match me in length. Colin’s patronizing comments were more frequent last summer or so, and Mr Agendist has really shaped his writing to match his audience, whether consciously or not I’m not sure. When he first started he focused on his personal life and on gay political issues, but he’s really pulled back from writing about the things that are most important to him.

    That comment could go either way, couldn’t it? Personally, I always wanted a partner who would be my equal, rather than the adoring invertebrate some Christians teach women to be. I don’t know if I’m all that unusual, but it seems that if men want a dependent wife they are turning to Southeast Asia more often these days. The media does seem to favor women who kick ass, but I don’t think that impedes their femininity. Rereading what she said, though, I like the fact that she’s (probably unintentionally) championing the rights of transmen to gender reassignment surgery.

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    • You aren’t the only one. I do, but so do quite a few of my commenters and the monkeys come back for another bite!

      I need to click on colin’s from yours, as I don’t follow him. And Pink too. Although didn’t I see somewhere he said he didn’t need to comment on yours any more or something like that? I would have to look back and I am too tired. I liked PA’s posts before when they were more gay/political/anti-religion. Perhaps his house and his dinner parties have become more important? 😉 He lives in a rich gated community 20 mins away from me so I’ll never get to know.

      I laughed about the comment. It was good. My partner had a mate from Wales who took a Pakistani wife and then a Thai one (I think), after the first part Italian wife marriage didn’t work out. Anyway, he went down the SE Asian road. Another guy from my part of England bought a wife from Thailand or Filipinas.

      I’m not sure the media does favour strong women. They may write about them, but it isn’t necessarily putting them in a good light or setting them as a role model. Femininity or sexuality?

      Yes, somehow, I don’t think gender reassignment surgery would be top of her priority list 😀 Difficult one to prioritise, but therein lies another debate.

      Like

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