Sometimes it is easier that way. Although it isn’t always even intentional.
People just do fall off the end however, perhaps even moreso in our increasingly busy computerised lives.
Some years ago I received a card from a former work colleague. It may have been one of the years when I was uncharacteristically sending Christmas cards. (Also known as holiday cards).
She informed me that her daughter was getting married, and that she had the big dilemma of what to wear as Mother of the Bride, and even worse – what hat to buy?
I started writing back but never finished the email. One day I looked at the calendar and realised the wedding had happened. Ooops, time for a congratulatory mail.
I started that one too, and …. well, it didn’t get finished either.
The next year I wondered if I should write and pass on my congratulations to her daughter on her first wedding anniversary. I didn’t of course, well maybe I started the mail but ….
It must be five years since now. My friend is probably a grandmother once or twice over and the couple could even be divorced. Who knows?
But it is a good example of my point. Here is someone that I knew, worked with for eight years, who not only took the trouble to write to me, when she came to Spain on a short break, we met up with her and her partner. Why did I never send that mail? Why was it so difficult to write? Or is it because once we lose touch with each other, there is nothing to say?
Moving around the place all the time, changing jobs, changing life leads to losing contact with people.
Regular readers will know I am still in touch with my university friends. With whom I have absolutely nothing in common any more except we spent three years together and enjoyed each others’ company. I’ve stayed with all of them, even on my last trip to the UK.
Contact is down to once a year at Christmas. A letter from one, a card from another, and an email on some insignificant day say Dec 28 or 29 from the other.
That last email was one from my ‘best friend’ at university if one has ‘best friends’ at university. Her email included a photo of a dog struggling to escape from her arms. They now have two dogs apparently – working cocker spaniels.
Now, unless I have missed something, working cocker spaniels hunt. As do the people who own them. Her partner got into fishing some years ago. It seems they have gone for the full-blown country gentry image and are into hunting, shooting as well as the fishing. I could be wrong of course. But I’m not sure I want to find out.
Sometime it feels as though I have more in common with people I have met on the internet. Preferably the ones who are eccentric and opinionated.
Even some of those fall off the end.
Very few of my former blogging contacts have followed me over to wordpress, it’s all too difficult. Which either says a lot about my blogs or my blogging contacts.
I have to admire one blog author I’ve met on wordpress. She has systematically cut all contact with one person she knows because she wanted to end their ‘friendship’, including deleting all mails, ‘phone contacts, and blocking the other person from contacting her. I think that takes a lot of strength of mind.
It’s not something I could do. I know, because once I tried, and either my insatiable curiosity couldn’t handle it, or I felt guilty in case I was being too harsh. That’s why it’s easier I guess when we all fall off the end, no hard feelings, no angry words, just …. a void.
Unintentional? Too many other pressures? Or – no longer anything in common? A bit like my hunting, shooting, fishing friend from the county set.
Sometimes though, after you are left looking at the damp squib that has fizzled out, you wonder if you should have made more effort. And tried to hang onto – what?
It’s very much a here today and gone tomorrow life.