Why I didn’t publish a comment

Luckily, I have found something to rant about today, so we are all happy. Health warning alert appears later.

Some time ago, on one of my other many blogs, I posted a pic of me – link here.

I wrote up the usual vaguely-related story and got some comments from people with blogs who I regularly visit and vice versa.

I received another comment from someone who I didn’t know and who doesn’t appear to have a blog (apols person if you do and it wasn’t obvious).

Now. Health warning (s).

1) If you are feminist, then you don’t need to worry about your health

2) If you are not but you wish to learn, you may wish to read on, but possibly indulge in the odd paracetamol for when your head spins

3) If you think opinionated women are a pain in the arse – fuck right off

So that’s clear.

Onto the story. Or rather, the comment:

I like this photo ! I think it looks great. The smile is radiant. It is a beautiful smile. I think your folks were trying to keep you safe. If you don’t come out too attractive, you won’t suffer problems that beautiful people get. You don’t invite trouble. They probably didn’t want you to get too over yourself.
You have attractive facial proportions, symmetry,and features, bone cut, cheek bones, eyes, nose. You are close to Farrah Fawcett cut. I can see why they would want to tone you down !

Where to start?!!!!

Well stranger, thank you, although what you think about the photo and my appearance is irrelevant to me. DID YOU READ THE TEXT? Actually maybe you did, but you didn’t understand it.

Whether I am/was attractive or not, means absolutamente jack shit nada to me (unless I am applying for a job of course where looks matter more than skills and experience).

I know it happens, but I don’t want to be judged on my appearance. And this post was not asking for suck-arse comments. Nor did I need to be validated. I am definitely not ‘flattered’ when a stranger comments on my appearance.

Next. No, my parents, (ie my folks?) were not trying to keep me safe. They were trying to control me. A father who threatens to hit a married woman of thirty years old is not trying to keep me safe – he is trying to control me, as he was then. Just for one example. Don’t tell me what my parents did.

Next, next. I don’t give a shit how attractive I come out. I look how I look. But I do NOT invite problems because of how I look. The problems come from the ones who commit them. Understand? That’s more or less like saying pretty women wearing short skirts are asking to be raped. Or have I misunderstood? No, stranger who commented, and whose comment was NOT approved, you misunderstood and big time.

Next, next, next. How can I invite trouble by just existing? Whoa!!!!! Don’t even go there.

Next x 4. There wasn’t much danger of me getting over myself (does that mean getting up myself?). Believe me.

Next x 5. I have no idea about the attractive facial proportions, but why a stranger would analyse it so much is beyond me. Back off person.

Next x 6. Everybody had a FF haircut back then. I assume that was what was meant as the face isn’t remotely similar. Selina Scott was the other one I was taken for.

Next x 7. Nobody tones me down.

If anyone is still with me, I will try and explain why I did not publish this comment on my not-a-photoblog, if you haven’t yet got the plot.

Primarily, it has the assumption that women want to be told they are pretty and attractive (by men) and that people (men) need to look after them, protect them, and that they are not independent – and that they are targets (by – men)!! WTF?

Secondly, as the pic blog is about pix and stories I didn’t feel like replying on there.

Thirdly, it was a fucking arsey comment. And this would have been an overly long reply.

Happy to welcome all new readers and commenters. But please make sure you don’t tread on my very sensitive feminist toes. (I have other sensitive toes too but that’s for other posts).


About roughseasinthemed

I write about my life as an English person living in Spain and Gibraltar, on Roughseas, subjects range from politics and current developments in Gib to book reviews, cooking and getting on with life. My views and thoughts on a variety of topics - depending on my mood of the day - can be found over on Clouds. A few pix are over on Everypic - although it is not a photoblog. And of course my dog had his own blog, but most of you knew that anyway. Pippadogblog etc
This entry was posted in blogging, childhood, family, feminism, life, parents, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Why I didn’t publish a comment

  1. Kyanite Blue says:

    Sorry Kate, but I’m smiling broadly here as just love this blast of yours, but I do agree 100%.


  2. Kyanite Blue says:

    Oh, posted before ready …
    I know all about controlling fathers, being judged by appearance by males. I think the longer I live the more feminest I become.


  3. Applause. Well written. (Of course, it’s by a brilliant thoughtful person with a great perspective on life and the world). Cheers


    • Thank you. Your take would have been insightful and less blunt. But we don’t have the same readership 😉


      • What you wouldn’t see was that I would have had to rewritten it 57 times to tone it down enough to post. Just infuriating. (Do us all a favor, dude – just crawl back under your rock.) I thought you handled it with style, and grace.


        • As I said, we have different blogs. Well I have lots of different blogs. But I don’t tone down on here and I don’t expect anyone else to (or on my other blogs to be honest). I rewrite 57 times to correct the literals! Now that does worry me.

          Regular Clouds readers aren’t offended by the posts I write (or they wouldn’t be reading). I was offended by the assumptions in the comment. As you correctly said – crawl back underneath. Thank you again.


  4. oooooh I was quite the worried one when I read the first sentence…..cos I had commented on your photo (in I hoped was a pleasant way, I had no issues, just was pleased to actually see what you looked like after all the time knowing you via blogs and emails etc and dreaded facebook. However, my mind was totally put at rest when i read the disgusting comment you were really referring to! Really,some people!! (That is something I recognise my sainted mother would have said!! LOL!) but seriously why would someone write such shitty fuck wit comments about someone they don’t know. Really the internet is the wild wild west sometimes. I hope you are well, and I am sorry to be late in catching up with blogs etc, my time has been occupied by dying, death, and funerals and all that entails. Beginning to see the light now, thank goodness. Tho hwmnbo has a horrendous head cold, he is run down methinks. J x


    • You must have had a tough time. I do know what it is like dealing with illness and bereavement from a distance. Not easy, to say the least. I think you two need another Canary trip or something to chill out for a week – or more.


  5. Will this patronization of women never stop? A year or so ago I actually exchanged words with an idiot on someone else’s blog, an extremely misguided woman who believed women asked for rape by wearing short skirts, low cut blouses and high heels. She absolutely wouldn’t accept that the crime is the criminal’s fault, whether it’s prudent to walk home in five inch heels or not. Are we still in the Dark Ages?

    I see your points completely. What a weird comment to leave on a stranger’s blog. Maybe it was human-generated spam. You might be surprised by how many bloggers fall for that.


    • I forgot I wrote this post!! Anyway, I would still write it all over again. But I enjoyed re-reading it thanks to your comment.

      I read something elsewhere about short skirts and asking for sexual attention/assault/rape etc. The crime sits with the perpetrator – how simple is that to understand?

      Your spam comment is interesting. Maybe. Either way, it didn’t get published. Thanks for your point of view on here. It was a while back when I had a less wider WP circle. I probably should do more backlinks. I’m still thinking of ‘It can’t be that time’ …


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